I may have solved it, with some help from Pidgin history.

I found something around 3 years old related to how Pidgin gets user 
information from the server, one time only on initial connect, and that if a 
GTalk user changes their nickname, Pidgin won't know about it.  The workaround 
is to delete the Buddy and recreate it, then use "Get user info" instead of 
defining an alias.

Strangely, Pidgin doesn't retrieve the user info for the local account, just 
the Buddy.  So, if you want to see a short name instead of the full account 
name during the chat, a local alias is a solution.  Same comment appears to 
apply to the local photo definition, which isn't retrieved from the server for 
the local account, just for the Buddy.

Once I had my wife change her Google Profile to match her nickname, things 
stabilized.  All computers running Pidgin seem to be working now.

Without getting into the code, I can only comment that there are some aspects 
of Pidgin that seem to be "one-way", meaning there isn't any easy way to back 
out, start over, and do it right if you make a mistake.

Well, there's always deleting %appdata%\.purple I suppose.
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