[email protected] wrote (17 Apr 2014 20:38:00 GMT) :
> I started working on ticket #5977: "Adapt documentation from Incognito".
> The scope is quite vague but I'll try to do as much as I can before
> Tails 1.0.

> So doc reviews, you can have a look at three branches:

>   - doc/introduction

Looks good. Pushed a typo fix (aa2dc1e).

I'm unsure about dropping the note that helps the reader understand
that they're not supposed to read everything in one go, but you're
probably right about it.

>   - doc/network-manager

This phrasing feels odd: "you can activate the [[Network connections
persistent volume
feature|first_steps/persistence/configure#network_connections]]"

In "read our documentation about [[network
fingerprint|doc/about/fingerprint]]", use "network
fingerprinting" instead?

It feels a bit weird to have only one first-level title, that is the
last section.

Otherwise, all right!

>   - doc/unsafe_browser

> -  <span class="guimenuitem">Unsafe Browser</span>
> -</span>.
> +  <span class="guimenuitem">Unsafe Browser</span></span>.

I'm curious why. No big deal anyway :)

> * While this browser can be used unrestrictively for anything, it is
>   *highly* recommended to only use it to access and log in to captive portals.

... feels like a duplicate, considering we have this very visible
warning 2 lines above:

> <p><strong>The <span class="application">Unsafe Browser</span> is not
> anonymous</strong>. Use it only to log in to captive portals.</p>

>The lack of the onion icon added by Torbutton
> is another such small visual reminder.

Not sure if "added by Torbutton" is useful to the average user.

> is another such small visual reminder

Drop "small"?

Otherwise, all right!

Cheers,
-- 
  intrigeri
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