If you want to be picky, your answer to 5 is incorrect. They did not
ask for your city.
Matthew Horspool wrote:
I was recently asked to join a biblical studies group. I didn't fancy
it but thought I might as well appease the moderator (I was tired at
the time) so I joined and promptly set their address to "treat as
spam". Anyway, I was sent a file called "new member's questionare"
and, after laughing uproariously for a while about the apawling
English, sat down to respond to it. Here is what I wrote:
----- Original Message ----- From: "Matthew Horspool"
<[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Friday, August 10, 2007 4:53 PM
Subject: Re: File - NEW MEMBER'S QUESTIONARE
Hi,
Here is my questionnaire:
"Hi! We are happy to have you here. Before you continue with your
membership, we need you to just simply fill out this questionare form
so that we the moderators as well as all other members can get to
know you better."
Spelling: questionare, should be questionnaire.
"1. YOur name:"
Capitalization: YOur, should be Your.
Answer: Matthew Frank Horspool.
"2. Would you please give us your date of birth so that we can add
it to the calendar? Also annerverceries if any?"
Comment: could be made a little more concise.
Spelling: annerverceries, should be anniversaries.
Answer: Sunday, February 9, 1992 at 12:07.
"3. Email?"
Comment: house style is looking rather inconsistent. Perhaps a colon
rather than a question mark should be used here, also add the word
"address" for the sake of professional appearance. Though it is
generally accepted that Email is a word rather than a compound word
of which one is abbreviated, it is preferred to write it as "E-mail",
where the "E" stands for "Electronic", so as to avoid the expansion
reading "Electronicmail".
Answer: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
"4. Are you on any instant messengers? Such as msn or windows
messenger, yqhoo, skype, aim....etc. If you have any of those please
give your instant messanger address or screen name and with which
system provider."
Comment: badly punctuated, vocabulary is informal and lacks clarity
towards the end. This could be made more concise.
Capitalization: msn, should be MSN. windows, should be Windows.
yqhoo, should be Yqhoo. skype, should be Skype. aim, should be AIM.
Spelling: windows messenger, should be Windows ® messenger. yqhoo,
should be Yahoo! messanger, should be messenger.
Answer: Windows ® Live Messenger ID: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
"5. Give your State/Province and Country:"
Comment: The word "Please" would improve the question.
Answer: Birmingham, West Midlands, England.
"7. Just hang in there, because you are almost done! Now is your
chance to tell us a little more about yourself in 1 or 2 sentences!
Feel free to tell us anything about yourself!"
Comment: this question should be numbered "6", not "7". The
vocabulary is rather informal. Avoid excessive use of the
exclamation mark, it gives writing an air of childish innocence which
is undesirable in this case.
Answer: I am 15 years old and totally blind. I am currently at
secondary school year 11 studying English, Mathematics, Science,
Information Communication Technology, Music, French, Business
Studies, Religious Education, Personal/Social/Health Education and
Physical Education. My two main interests are Music and Computers,
although I have several others including Radio and the syntactical,
grammatical and vocabulary sectors of the English language. I am a
member of the Church of England. I attend church most Sundays as I
sing in the choir. I am also a trainee organist.
"Once again, thanks for joining us. If you have any questions,
please feel free to send an email to:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
, and we will answer any question you have.
With best regards,
Darlene and Carol B and Stephanie
group moderators"
Comment: lists delimited with "and" should be avoided.
Matthew
Did you miss a message? Well, don't.
http://www.mail-archive.com/talk2%40andrelouis.com/
has it for you. Never miss a Talk2 message again.
Did you miss a message? Well, don't.
http://www.mail-archive.com/talk2%40andrelouis.com/
has it for you. Never miss a Talk2 message again.
