I was recently asked to join a biblical studies group. I didn't fancy it
but thought I might as well appease the moderator (I was tired at the time)
so I joined and promptly set their address to "treat as spam". Anyway, I
was sent a file called "new member's questionare" and, after laughing
uproariously for a while about the apawling English, sat down to respond to
it. Here is what I wrote:
----- Original Message -----
From: "Matthew Horspool" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Friday, August 10, 2007 4:53 PM
Subject: Re: File - NEW MEMBER'S QUESTIONARE
Hi,
Here is my questionnaire:
"Hi! We are happy to have you here. Before you continue with your
membership, we need you to just simply fill out this questionare form so
that we the moderators as well as all other members can get to know you
better."
Spelling: questionare, should be questionnaire.
"1. YOur name:"
Capitalization: YOur, should be Your.
Answer: Matthew Frank Horspool.
"2. Would you please give us your date of birth so that we can add it to
the calendar? Also annerverceries if any?"
Comment: could be made a little more concise.
Spelling: annerverceries, should be anniversaries.
Answer: Sunday, February 9, 1992 at 12:07.
"3. Email?"
Comment: house style is looking rather inconsistent. Perhaps a colon
rather than a question mark should be used here, also add the word
"address" for the sake of professional appearance. Though it is generally
accepted that Email is a word rather than a compound word of which one is
abbreviated, it is preferred to write it as "E-mail", where the "E" stands
for "Electronic", so as to avoid the expansion reading "Electronicmail".
Answer: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
"4. Are you on any instant messengers? Such as msn or windows messenger,
yqhoo, skype, aim....etc. If you have any of those please give your
instant messanger address or screen name and with which system provider."
Comment: badly punctuated, vocabulary is informal and lacks clarity
towards the end. This could be made more concise.
Capitalization: msn, should be MSN. windows, should be Windows. yqhoo,
should be Yqhoo. skype, should be Skype. aim, should be AIM.
Spelling: windows messenger, should be Windows ® messenger. yqhoo, should
be Yahoo! messanger, should be messenger.
Answer: Windows ® Live Messenger ID: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
"5. Give your State/Province and Country:"
Comment: The word "Please" would improve the question.
Answer: Birmingham, West Midlands, England.
"7. Just hang in there, because you are almost done! Now is your chance
to tell us a little more about yourself in 1 or 2 sentences! Feel free to
tell us anything about yourself!"
Comment: this question should be numbered "6", not "7". The vocabulary is
rather informal. Avoid excessive use of the exclamation mark, it gives
writing an air of childish innocence which is undesirable in this case.
Answer: I am 15 years old and totally blind. I am currently at secondary
school year 11 studying English, Mathematics, Science, Information
Communication Technology, Music, French, Business Studies, Religious
Education, Personal/Social/Health Education and Physical Education. My
two main interests are Music and Computers, although I have several others
including Radio and the syntactical, grammatical and vocabulary sectors of
the English language. I am a member of the Church of England. I attend
church most Sundays as I sing in the choir. I am also a trainee organist.
"Once again, thanks for joining us. If you have any questions, please
feel free to send an email to:
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
, and we will answer any question you have.
With best regards,
Darlene and Carol B and Stephanie
group moderators"
Comment: lists delimited with "and" should be avoided.
Matthew
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