John said: > > It's not a question of blacklisting, but of taking no for an answer. > If a woman didn't want to dance with me 10 minutes ago, or last week, > or in November 1962, I assume she doesn't want to dance with me now.
I suppose I have less absolute settings. There are some women where I'm pretty sure they don't like dancing with me at all. I might try again in a year or two, I might not. But most of the time, they do not say yes for any of a number of reasons - like I listed before: > The music, the floor, my mood, phase of the moon, how > she dances; how her dancing is affected by the music, the floor, my > mood, the phase of the moon... It would be silly for me to interpret her past "no" as a current one. The reason I reacted so strongly to the original suggestion was because it sounded like bullying - "don't say no to anyone or we'll boycott you". And I know that it has that effect on some women. Then they say yes to a dance when they mean no, which is bad for everyone. And if I never asked again, with every woman who had ever said no to me, there would very little dancing happening. Including with many women who I know want to dance me. November 1962 was a long time ago. Maybe her feet aren't so sore now, or the music has got better, or your dancing. Give it a shot. Gary _______________________________________________ Tango-L mailing list [email protected] http://mailman.mit.edu/mailman/listinfo/tango-l
