Actual Story of Newton and Einstein's Death for Actual Dummies
>> I bet all
> of you, like me believed that Sir Isaac Newton and Albert
> Einstein died many
> years back. But the facts have proved themselves
> otherwise.
>
> They
> actually didn’t die, when we thought they did.
>
> They
> actually died very recently.
>
> The actual
> circumstances surrounding their deaths are not quite clear,
> but recent research
> has narrowed it down quite closely….
>
> Everyone
> believes that Sir Isaac Newton died on 31 March 1727.
> However, a secret study
> conducted by CIA proved that this was not true. In addition
> to his many
> discoveries Sir Isaac Newton had also discovered the ‘Secret to Longevity’,
> though he did not share this
> discovery with
> anyone till Albert Einstein came along (also widely
> believed to have died on 18
> Apr 1955). Albert Einstein during one of his researches
> into Newtonian laws of
> motion came across Newton’s research into Longevity.
>
> Both Newton
> and Einstein practiced the findings of this research and
> continued to live
> eternally, travelling around the world together and
> generally having a gala
> time, till….
>
>
> They came
> to India and …..
>
>
>
> ….
>
>
>
> …
>
>
>
> ---
>
>
>
> …..
>
>
>
> ---
>
>
>
> ….
>
>
>
> ---
>
>
>
> ….
>
>
>
>
>
> Saw Rajnikanth Movies……
>
>
>
> Read on to
> find out the actual causes of death of Newton and
> Einstein.Scene –
> 1
>
>
> Rajanikanth has a
> Brain Tumour which, according to the doctors can't be
> cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our
> great Rajanikanth
> is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the
> bullet passes
> through his ears taking away the tumour along with it and
> he is cured!
> Long Live
> Rajanikanth!
> Newton has his head spinning, but quickly proves mathematically that
> while
> probability of such an occurrence is
> 0.000000000000000000823, but the event,
> nevertheless is possible.
> He goes on to revisit the premises on which his first law
> of motion is based.
>
> Einstein is puzzled, and is sure there is some
> relativity in this scene.
>
>
> Scene – 2
>
> Rajanikanth
> is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but
> unfortunately
> only one bullet and a knife.
> Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle
> gangster? &
> shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the
> bullet into 2 pieces,
> which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle
> gangster& the
> knife kills the middle one.
>
>
>
> Newton has ‘increased blood pressure’. He begins to write a
> theorem disproving
> his own second law of motion.
>
> Einstein become unsure of everything he
> has said till now. He starts exhibiting schizophrenic
> tendencies.
>
>
>
> Scene – 3
>
> Rajanikanth is
> chased by a gangster.. Rajanikanth has a revolver but no
> bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah? not even in
> your remotest
> imaginations.
>
>
>
> He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster
> shoots, Rajanikanth
> opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and
> catches the bullet. Then,
> he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.
>
> Bang... the gangster dies...
>
>
>
> Newton is livid. He has a mild cardiac
> arrest. He is shaken quite badly. He immediately goes
> on to cancel is third
> law of motion (Every action has an equal and opposite
> reaction). He proposes it
> in a revised format, “Every action has an equal and
> opposite reaction, except
> in India, where a reaction might be produced without an
> action, or an action
> might not produce any reaction, or an action might produce
> an exceptionally
> large reaction”.
>
> Einstein cuts his hair. He returns his
> noble prize. He modifies his fundamental
> theory of E =
> MC2. He modifies it to read E = IMC2
> (Where ‘I’ stands for India and is NOT a constant
> but a variable). He
> further proposes that the theory of relativity is
> universally applicable except
> in India. In India, light doesn’t always travel in a
> straight line, and doesn’t
> always remove darkness. He also proves that in India (and
> especially in
> Rajnikanth Movies) the “Energy of a
> system is NOT dependent upon a product of its mass and
> square of speed of light”. It is more
> dependent on what a producer or a director of an event
> wants. He then
> becomes paranoid and starts to think of
> killing Newton.
>
>
> Scene – 4
>
> Rajanikanth gets to
> know that the villain is on the other side of a very
> high wall. So high that Rajanikanth can't jump even if
> he tries like one
> of those superman techniques that our heroes normally
> use.
>
>
>
> Rajanikanth has to desperately kill the villain because
> it's the climax.
> Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually
> impossible? Einstein is full
> of apprehension.
>
>
>
> Rajanikanth suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He
> throws one gun in
> the air and when the gun has reached above the height of
> the wall, he uses
> the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun
> in air. The
> first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
>
>
>
> Newton has a massive cardiac
> arrest and does not survive.
>
> Einstein in a fit of paranoia, climbs that same very wall, and
> jumps off it.
>
>
>
> And Both
> Newton and Einstein died.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Ladies and
> Gentlemen
>
>
> I thank you for your time. If you
> all actually have the time to read all this stuff, you
> actually deserve all this fantasies.
> Trust me,
> CIA had no role to play in making this mail, and it is
> purely a figment of my (idle) imagination. Creativity
> sometimes does manifest in
> absurd behavior.
> Nevertheless, I thank you for your
> patience.
>
>
> >
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