**STORY 1: PAY RISE** A Mexican maid asked for a pay increase.
The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.?? She asked: 'Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?'?? Maria: 'Well, Señora, there are three reasons why I want an increase. The first is that I iron better than you.'?? Wife: 'Who said you iron better than me?'?? Maria: 'Your husband say so.'?? Wife: 'Oh.'? Maria: 'The second reason is that I am a better cook than you.?? Wife: 'Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?'? Maria: 'Your husband did.'? Wife: 'Oh.'? Maria: 'The third reason is that I am better than you in bed.?? Wife: (really furious now) 'Did my husband say that as well?'? Maria: 'No Señora...the gardener did.' Wife: 'So how much do you want? **STORY 2: HOW SHE DESTROYED MY GOLF PASSION** Saturday morning I got up early, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed my golf bag, tried not to wake my wife, sneaked quietly into the garage and proceeded to back out into a torrential down pour. The wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. Disappointed I went back into the house, and sneaked back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 20 yrs replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out there playing golf in that terrible weather?' I still don't know to this day if she was joking, but I have stopped playing golf.
