*Delivery time* An old man took a package to the post office to mail it to one of his distant relative. The clerk said, "This will cost $2.40 for fast delivery or $1.30 for slower service." "There is no hurry," the old man said, "just make sure the package is delivered in my lifetime." The clerk looked at him from head to toe and said: "That will be $2.40, please."
*Faulty replacement* Duck decoys, fishing rods, boots—outdoor gear of all kinds was piled high in the garage. One day the husband found his wife staring at the mess. "I hope I die first, so I don’t have to get rid of all this," she sighed. "Look on the bright side," he suggested jokingly: "If I go first, you can put an ad in the paper. When all the men come by to check out the stuff, you can pick out a replacement for me." Still staring at the pile, she said, "Nah. Whoever would want all this stuff wouldn’t be my type." *The waterhole* A motorist, after being bogged down in a muddy road, paid a passing farmer five dollars to pull the car out with his tractor. After he was back on dry ground, he said to the farmer, "At those prices, I should think you would be pulling people out of the mud day and night." "Can’t," replied the farmer. "At night I haul water for the hole." *Late again* A college chemistry professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day’s lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil. "And who was it that discovered uranium?" the professor asked. "I don’t know," the student said. "Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr Winters, you would know," said the professor. "That’s not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention!" *Leaky act* A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first intermission he had to take a leak in the worst way, so he hurried to find the bathrooms. He searched in vain for the bathrooms, but he finally found a beautiful fountain with foliage, and since nobody was watching, so he decided to take a leak right there. When he finally got back into the auditorium, the second act had already begun. He searched in the dark until he found his wife. "Did I miss much of the second act?" he asked. "Miss it?" she said indignantly, "You were in it!" *Parroting tone* A man received a phone call one day, and the caller asked if he had lost a parrot. He said that he had indeed lost the bird, but wanted to know how the caller located him. The caller said that the bird had landed on his balcony and kept repeating, "Hi, you have reached 555-3214. I can’t come to the phone right now, please leave a message at the tone." -- With best wishes S Chander -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Thatha_Patty" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/groups/opt_out.
