How do you tell the difference between an English Police Officer,
a Canadian Police Officer, an American Police Officer and a Scottish police
officer?
------------------------------
*QUESTION*:
You're on duty by yourself (don't ask why, you just are, and your
Sergeant hates you) walking on a deserted street late at night.
Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner,
locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife and lunges at
you.
You are carrying your truncheon and are an expert in using it.
However, you have only a split second to react before he reaches you.
What do you do ?
*ANSWER: English Police Officer: *
Firstly, the officer must consider the man's human rights.
1) Does the man look poor or oppressed ?
2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law ?
3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger ?
4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack ?
5) Am I dressed provocatively ?
6) Could I run away ?
7) Could I possibly swing my truncheon and knock the knife out of his hand ?
8) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong-doings?
9) Why am I carrying a truncheon anyway and what kind of message does this
send to society ?
10) Does he definitely want to kill me or would he be content just to wound
me ?
11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab
and kill me ?
12) If I raise my truncheon and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if
he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself?
13) If I hurt him and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the
opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my
family home?
------------------------------
*Canadian Police Officer: *
BANG !
------------------------------
*American Police Officer: *
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG!
BANG! BANG !
'Click' ..... Reload
BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG ! BANG!
BANG! BANG !
------------------------------
*Glasgow Police Officer: *
"Haw, Jimmie.... Drop the knife, noo, unless you want it stuck up yer
arse."
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