For those who identify with the Irish.....


  *•*     *Definition of an Irish husband:  He hasn't kissed his wife for
twenty years, but he will kill any man who does.*


  *• Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink.  Quinn
thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.*


  *• An American lawyer asked, "Paddy, why is it that whenever you ask an
Irishman a question, he answers with another question?"*
 *"Who told you that?" asked Paddy.*


  *•*
*Question - Why are Irish jokes so simple? Answer - So the English can
understand them.*


  *• Reilly went to trial for armed robbery.  The jury foreman came out and
announced, "Not guilty."*
 *"That's grand!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?"*


  *• Irish lass customer: "Could I be trying on that dress in the window?"*
 *Shopkeeper: "I'd prefer that you use the dressing room."*



*• Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife? A. A
bachelor.*




*• Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in
the morning.  I can't break her of it. Keenan: What on earth is she doin'
at that time? Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home .*


  *• Slaney phoned the maternity ward at the hospital.  "Quick!" he said.
"Send an ambulance, my wife is goin' to have a baby!"*

*"Tell me, is this her first baby?" the intern asked. "No, this is her
husband, Kevin, speakin'."*


  *• My mother wanted me to be a priest.  Can you imagine giving up your
sex life and then once a week people come in to tell you the details and
highlights of theirs?*

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