False prestige of the middle class alone is projected as the
inferiority complex. KR  IRS

On Sat, 16 Sept 2023 at 12:05, Narayanaswamy Sekar <[email protected]>
wrote:

>
>
> ---------- Forwarded message ---------
> From: 'N Sekar' via iyer123 <[email protected]>
> Date: Sat, Sep 16, 2023 at 10:33 AM
> Subject: [iyer123] Fw: Snippets - Sitendra Kumar -
>
>
>
> Forwarding what I received from a friend and my response to it.
>
> N Sekar
>
>
> Thanks - captured beautifully the middle class predicaments.
>
> Though not directly related but on a similar situation,  let me say that
> we go to a restaurant (alone) and find a friend/s and all of us sit
> together and eat what each one of us ordered.
>
> Problem comes when the waiter asks whether it should be one bill (or  even
> if he doesn't ask and assumes one of us will pay as we all sat together and
> brings one bill) and we, knowing fully well we can't afford vie with each
> other to offer to pay. Inwardly we curse ourselves (and others) but
> externally we act a as though it is not an issue at all.
>
> False prestige of the middle class. False prestige is one of the main
> reasons for the problems of the middle class.
>
> Why can't we be honest and ask the waiter to bring separate bills even if
> others say one bill - on them.
>
> Each paying for his is called "going Dutch" and it is the best solution -
> if I invite others then it is my responsibility but when we meet
> accidentally, there is no need to pay someone else's bill but we offer and
> pretend how generous we are.
>
> I have experienced it many times during my hostel day even when my father
> was supporting me and also later in life. Of course, it was not me always
> but I understand how others, who had to foot the bill, might be feeling at
> that time.
>
> Now my lines are clearly drawn. If I invite, I pay; otherwise I suggest
> that each pays his and if there is no consensus, ask the  waiter to bring
> mine and leave to others to decide what they want.
>
> What acts we put up in front of others? Hypocrisy.
>
> N Sekar
>
>
>
> N Sekar
>
>
> On Saturday, September 16, 2023 at 05:24:34 AM GMT+4, Chittanandam V R <
> [email protected]> wrote:
>
>
>
>
> *Received from Shri Sitendra Kumar*
>
> *                                      Times when every penny counted*
>
> *Atul Joshi*
>
> *Many people in my generation were raised in the late sixties by our
> parents with a relative sense of paucity and deprivation. I was able to go
> to a decent school with many amenities provided for, but lavishness or easy
> availability of money was never the case. ‘Single income family’ was the
> plausible explanation where my father was the sole earning member. He had
> the added responsibility to contribute to look after his extended family,
> which included brothers and sisters. The sum total was an acute awareness
> to live within our limited means.*
> *The year was 1992; we had just passed out of a government medical college
> when one of the more affluent one among us found his matrimonial match in a
> charming damsel from the US. The marriage function was to be held in one of
> the finest luxury hotels of Delhi. All of us were excited at the pleasant
> turn of events for our dear friend. That for most of us it was going to be
> the first exposure to a five-star hotel was another attraction.*
>
> *While at the hotel, I tried in vain to turn on the lights of the room. I
> was rudely ‘educated’ to put the card key in the socket at the entrance and
> everything turned into a dazzling array of exuberance. It was illuminating
> but embarrassing. My friend from the adjacent room came rushing to inform
> me that there was a fridge too in each room. As I was pleasantly overawed,
> he revealed that it was stocked with beer bottles and other goodies. He
> took out all the bottles from the fridge and fled as he did not want to
> waste such a ‘treasure’ in a teetotaler’s room. All in all, we were in a
> heaven afforded by our friend's riches and enhanced by his prospective
> in-laws’ largesse.*
>
> *In the evening was the sangeet where a celebrity woman singer was singing
> ghazals of Begum Akhtar and Farida Khanum. Currency notes were being
> showered on her; I too was nudged by a friend to join the frenzy. He
> whispered in my ears that as the groom’s friends we must not lag behind and
> should shed our middle-class reservations. Though I was sober, I carefully
> opened my wallet and took out a Rs 50 note. I whirled it over the head of
> my groom friend and off it went into the solicitous hands of the charming
> singer.*
> *It took me a couple of months to come to terms with this financial loss
> as my monthly budget went haywire. I still remember that moment of awkward
> madness with an aching heart. It taught me a life lesson about the pitfalls
> of extravagance.*
> *- Atul Joshi*
> ********************
> *Chittanandam*
>
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