---------- Forwarded message --------- From: 'N Sekar' via iyer123 <iyer...@googlegroups.com> Date: Mon, Dec 25, 2023, 2:00 PM Subject: [iyer123] Re: Sumangalis - Another view To: <keralaiy...@googlegroups.com>, Iyer <iyer...@googlegroups.com>, Rangarajan T.N.C. <tncrangara...@yahoo.com>, Chittanandam V. R. < chittananda...@gmail.com>, Mathangi K. Kumar <mathangikku...@gmail.com>
Thanks Sri G K. Regarding dying as Sumangalis: I know most of the women pray for this - to die as Sumangalis, meaning they should go before their husbands leave this world. I have heard this from my childhood both from my own family members and others, my mother included, and thought one of the reasons, repeat ONE OF THE REASONS and not the only reason, why this is so is because of our customs - like It is not a good omen to see her esp. when one begins an auspicious event, They are excluded from Uunjal ceremony and the like in a marriage. Not allowed to be at the forefront for any " Mangala Nikazhchi" - auspicious occasions etc. (But none of these applies to the widower.) We, both myself and my wife, met a fairly elderly couple during our Char Dham Yatra in 2017 wherein the lady said, during the course of our conversation while at Gangotri, that she prayed to Maa Ganga that she should survive her husband and should leave immediately after all his final rites were performed, including the 13 day ceremonies, 13th day being the Subha Svekaram. When I asked her the reason she said that while the ladies need (at that age) only financial security if possible, to lead an independent life, the men would feel like fish out of water without their better halves. Their self respect would not allow them to ask, or beg as she put it, for everything from morning coffee to dinner etc. and be dependent on someone else in the family. If they need financial assistance also then God save them, she said and added: Nor can they manage their chores without getting bored or tired or even fed up, resulting in their losing their temper (patience) which will further aggravate their situation. They will not get the same care, attention and affection, even if given grudgingly, from anyone else, even if the couple had lead not a very harmonious life, when both were alive. There won't be too many people around to listen to and tolerate some of their nonsense ( as she put it), like the wives, even if they don't agree or concur. She said menfolk do not realize that the wives put up with all their tantrums not because they are dependent on their husbands as they would like to feel, BUT as an act of service and sacrifice for the well being of the family. She went on and on ( some answering our questions) but I have given the gist of our conversation above. Her husband was as mesmerised as I was, judging by the looks on his face. May be, just may be, she took us as Interlocutors to convey a message to her husband. Before we could go any further they had to leave as their tour operator called them back. I have seen myself how miserable men feel without their wives in their old age. An aged widow, under normal circumstances, is able to survive better than an aged widower- but financial security is an important factor here. I wanted to mention it here since you brought up the subject, as the lady told us to share her view as she felt our women need to think of the lives of their husbands, after their death. N Sekar Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android <https://mail.onelink.me/107872968?pid=nativeplacement&c=Global_Acquisition_YMktg_315_Internal_EmailSignature&af_sub1=Acquisition&af_sub2=Global_YMktg&af_sub3=&af_sub4=100000604&af_sub5=EmailSignature__Static_> On Mon, Dec 25, 2023 at 12:36 PM, 'gopala krishnan' via KeralaIyers <keralaiy...@googlegroups.com> wrote: Dear Mr Sekar, Thank you for reading the posting and responding with *BRIEF ADDITIONS*. Even in the primary class we are taught-*"Matha*, Pitha, Guru, Deivam" telling the name Matha first. If one has performed Gaya srardha, he may remember, it is the only occasion srardha is performed to Mother, offering pinda to each month she carried us in her womb. While the sasthrikal explains and tell the manthra to recite- 100% cannot offer pinda with out tears in the eyes. Some cry also. My mother's only wish was she should leave the word as *"Sumangali"*. Prior to her no lady died as sumangali. *She died as Sumangali.* I do not know why, after her also, no lady died as Sumangali in our family group(Blood relations). Most dead after 3months to 3 years after husband's death. Gopalakrishnan Since I was youngest and earned more than my brothers, my parents were with me after my settling in job until they could not perform journey. Gopalakrishnan On Monday, 25 December, 2023 at 12:08:43 pm IST, 'N Sekar' via KeralaIyers < keralaiy...@googlegroups.com> wrote: Thanks Sri G K. Q 5: Ronaldo deserves our love, respect and praise for this one quality alone. It is a very valuable lesson to the millions of young fans of his. Even if a handful realize this, the world would be a better place to live in. Although we come from a land which taught us " Matha, Pitha, Guru, and (then) Deivam" meaning Mothers tower above all, still we need inspiring stories like this, to help us remember our own traditions, culture and the way our elders were treated - with love, affection and respect. Good lessons are welcome irrespective of where they come from - East or West or anywhere else. Rig Vedham tells us " Let Knowledge come to us from ALL SIDES". All sides include West, I suppose. Thirukkural says " Epporul yar yar vai ketpinum Apporul Maipurul kanbathu Arivu" Meaning What matters is WHAT is said and not WHO said it (wherefrom is implied). Apart from the purpose to annihilate the Rakshaas, Rama in Ramayana teaches us: Mathru, Pithur and Guru Bhakthi and how even if you have to differ from your parents and Gurus - how to do it with respect and reverence, without giving offence, so much so even they agree with you eventually. Our generation was brought up listening to " Pravachanams" on Ramayana and the Mahabharatha, Bhagavatham, Nala Sarithram and the like; and there were no big auditoriums, concert halls etc. and no U tube either. Most of these speeches, lectures were given within the Temple premises. But their reach was far and wide. One of the reasons we have degenerated is because these practices are dying a slow death and also because we have done away with moral subjects like Avvai Patti's Aathichudi and the like. It is good that someone from the West reminds us of our own, forgotten values. Thanks Ronaldo. N Sekar Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android <https://mail.onelink.me/107872968?pid=nativeplacement&c=Global_Acquisition_YMktg_315_Internal_EmailSignature&af_sub1=Acquisition&af_sub2=Global_YMktg&af_sub3=&af_sub4=100000604&af_sub5=EmailSignature__Static_> On Mon, Dec 25, 2023 at 8:48 AM, 'gopala krishnan' via iyer123 <iyer...@googlegroups.com> wrote: CULTURAL QA 12-2023-25 All the below QA are from Quora DIGEST to me on 25-12-2023. Selected quora answers generally interesting are included .Still they need not be 100% correct answers. Compiled and posted by R. Gopala Krishnan, 80, former ITS 7024 on 25-12-2023. Q1 When did you realize small things matter? A1 Utkarsh Vajpai, Writerpreneur Updated 5y I can explain it by a short but real story. Once there was a boy who had a shop of book binding in front of a reputed educational institution. All the students and professors used to give their notes to him for binding. The boy was very much fond of gaining knowledge so he used to study every set of notes that he got to bind. For many years he continued to do the same. Then on the basis of his study, one day he tried to do an experiment. He brought a magnet and thought of generating current through it. He tried for several times but nothing happened. He read again and tried again, once twice, thrice, endless times but nothing happened. At last, he became furious and threw the magnet and to his surprise he saw a small deflection in the current measuring device. A theory was born that day. Later, he thought to display his work in front of the professors of that reputed institution. When he showed his work, out of jealousy one of the professor stood up and asked, “It is admirable that the movement of magnet shows a small current but What good will this small current do, it’s of no use!” All the other professors giggled on his remark. After a bit of a silence, the boy said, “Well Sir, in that case What good is a new born baby? Do you kill a new born baby solely based upon the fact that the baby is very small?” There was stun silence and later on the theory got approved. The boy turned out to be the biggest scientists of all time. The boy was Michael Faraday.The theory was Electromagnetic Induction. The institution was The Royal Society. Q2 How fragile are humans physically? A2 Silk Road, AI Expert13h - We can't survive without oxygen for more than a few minutes. If our brain doesn't get enough O2, it gets permanently damaged and we die. - We can't regrow our limbs or organs like some lizards or starfish. If we lose an arm or a leg, we have to use prosthetics or wheelchairs. If we lose a kidney or a liver, we have to wait for a transplant or dialysis. If we lose our eyesight or hearing, we have to use glasses or hearing aids. We can't handle extreme temperatures or pressures like some tardigrades or deep-sea creatures. If we go too hot or too cold, we get burned or frozen. If we go too high or too low, we get altitude sickness or decompression sickness. - We can't live forever like some jellyfish or lobsters. As we get older, our cells start to wear out and our organs start to fail. We get diseases like cancer, diabetes, Alzheimer's, etc. We need drugs and machines to keep us alive. So yeah, humans are pretty fragile physically. But that doesn't mean we are hopeless. We have something that most animals don't have: Big brains. We can use our intelligence and creativity to overcome our limitations and adapt to our environment. We can invent tools and technologies that help us survive and thrive. We can cooperate and communicate with each other to solve problems and achieve goals. We can explore and discover new things that expand our knowledge and horizons. So don't be sad about being fragile. Be glad about being smart. Q3 Can you give some information about Parsis? A3 Parsis, who follow Zoroastrianism, are seen as a small group in India. There are about 60,000 Parsis in India, and Pakistan has around 1100. They came to India to escape persecution in their home country, Iran. Even though they faced tough times, they embraced Indian culture, language, and the country itself. Parsis are known for being prosperous – some are very rich businesspeople. They also hold significant positions in law, media, consultancy, and civil and military service, making them powerful and influential. They've made important contributions to Indian arts and culture. Additionally, Parsis are known for their generosity – they're real philanthropists. It's interesting to note that they've never tried to find or create another homeland. As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe said, Everything great and intelligent is in the minority." And, by the way, today is Nowruz, the Persian New Year! Happy Nowruz to everyone! Q4 Why do hospitals often give patients ice chips rather than liquids when they are thirsty? A4 Scott Krager, Lives in Portland, OR 20h Now, this might sound counterintuitive. A patient is thirsty and rather than giving them a refreshing glass of water, a nurse comes over with a cup of ice chips. What gives? Well, there's a method to the madness. Firstly, when certain patients are considered a high risk for aspiration, like after surgery or when they're very ill, giving them liquids can actually be dangerous. Aspiration is when something enters the airway or lungs by accident, which can lead to pneumonia or other complications. Not the kind of extra 'adventure' you want in a hospital. Ice chips, on the other hand, melt slowly and in small amounts. So by sucking on ice chips, patients can stay hydrated without the risk of swallowing a large volume of liquid that could end up going down the wrong pipe. It's about controlling the intake. Secondly, in some cases, patients are required to have an empty stomach for certain procedures or tests. Ice chips can provide some hydration and mouth comfort without significantly adding to stomach contents. Also, if there's a chance of surgery, docs want that stomach as empty as possible, even when it comes to liquids. Now, let’s talk about the digestive system. After surgery or during certain illnesses, the digestive system can be a bit sluggish to wake up and start working properly again. Sipping on liquids might lead to nausea or vomiting, whereas ice chips melt and trickle down in such small amounts that it’s less likely to upset the stomach. And of course, there's the matter of ice chips being a soothing remedy for dry mouth, which is a common side effect of the supremely arid hospital air. It's also a bit of comfort care, honestly. There's something soothing about the coolness and the slight crunch that distracts from the less-than-pleasant aspects of a hospital stay. So, in the ever-busy halls of hospitals where every action usually has a reason behind it, ice chips serve as a simple, yet smart solution for patient care. I mean, I'm sitting here in Portland, OR, wishing we could solve more of life's problems with something as straightforward as ice chips. Alas, most things aren’t as simple as soothing thirst with frozen water. My note- I have an experience of surgery to my relative CMC Hospital, Vellore. We were told, to keep water ready, while he was brought. We gave only water. But it was before 30 years. Now medical systems have much changed. Q5 Can you tell about importance of mother to us? A5 Jai Narayan,Mar 26 “A journalist asks Cristiano Ronaldo: "Why does your mother still live with you?"Why don't you build her a house?" Cristiano Ronaldo replies : "My mother raised me and she dedicated her life for me. She would go to sleep hungry, just to let me eat. We had no money at all. She worked 7 days a week & nights as a maid to buy my first shoes so I could be a player. All my success is dedicated to her and because of her and as long as she has a life, she will always be by my side, she has everything I can give. She is my refuge and my greatest gift." My note- What a beautiful answer. If all middle age/old age think about it in this manner? My parents were with me after I got settled in my life. Before the birth of my daughter my mother became the Late. Then on my father used to me with me till he got bored/ old enough not to make journeys and lived in native home. Q6 What made you cry today? A6 Khushii, What more can I say Jul 2 Today our domestic help came to our house and without anyone’s permission started looking through the refrigerator. She started eating a paratha and when I walked in I told her it was supposed to be for my breakfast and she could’ve asked my permission before eating. Her reply made me cry . She said “ I haven’t eaten anything since the last 4 days , my husband and I are trying to repay a loan so we don’t have a grain of rice at our home. I’ve been drinking cold water all day because it makes me feel full. However today I just couldn’t keep going anymore, the garbage picker refused to let me rummage through the bin for anything to eat. When I came to your home, I couldn’t afford a no from you, so I decided to eat without asking for anyone’s permission. I have no money for bus also , I need energy to walk home , so I ate . “ I felt such a sting at the unfairness of life . Some people have more than they’ll ever need while others are trying so hard to just survive. Same yellow eyes , torn lips that mark them all . Q7 What is the greatest piece of advice you can give me? A7 Tiny Nair, Cardiologist at PRS Hospital, Trivandrum Updated 4y Theory 1 AM, book open, half groggy, I curse whoever has conceptualized MD entrance examination and MCQs. With exams being just a few days away, all we learn is mnemonics to cram complicated disease. Hypertension ADPKD Berry aneurysm /Intra Cranial Hemorrhage – 10% Treatment – Surgical Spleen, Liver cyst Mnemonics – H A B I T S – HABITS, HABITS, HABITS – I repeat the ‘Mnemonic’ in my mind. (for the ‘non-medical’ readers, these are examples of unusual disease which are asked in MCQ for entrance examination – the best we could do is to remember them with mnemonics. Sometimes during examination, all that we could remember are the mnemonic and not the fact!!!). ‘Why do they want us is to cram the rarest of the rare stuff, not testing what you know, but just what you don’t know’. Suddenly I realize that in the empty room that I was talking to myself. May be, I am losing my mind. ***I close the book, set the alarm at 6; reset it at 5 30 and go to sleep. That’s how we learnt medicine; Knowing a lot of theory which is useless for all practical purposes. Its funny that people criticize the system till they pass out; and then they become staunch supporters of this same curriculum. Even today, I always teach my residents and Junior doctors to learn practical medicine by the bedside which is much more important than any theory. Life The 40-something-old man had high blood pressure, little difficult to control and hence referred to us. ‘Do you have any symptoms’? I asked ‘Yes doctor, I have some headache, especially since last night, but I was tensed up because of the project and I did not get proper sleep’. ‘He has migraine in his family’ commented his wife. Most people consider headache as a common signal for high blood pressure, and as physicians we know how wrong they are. Most hypertensives are asymptomatic, of course till they know they have blood pressure. ***And then the headache starts; for both the patient and the doctor. I readjusted his medicine dosage; and told him not to worry. I reached the hospital parking place and was ready to get into my car when a young man came running. ‘sir how is *****? He is my brother; - by the way, do you remember me sir? You saw me referred by the nephrologist’. ***My memory for faces is poor; I conjure up an artificial smile. Then suddenly I remembered something. ‘You were referred by the nephrologist for ADPKD right? (ADPKD stands for Autosomal Dominant Polycystic Kidney Disease – a rare disease where kidneys are progressively replaced by grape like ‘cysts’ damaging the kidneys). ‘Yes sir, ***** is my own brother’ HABITS; H A B I T S – Some old neurons fire in my subcortical brain. ‘H’ for Hypertension; ‘A’ for ADPKD; ‘B’ for berry aneurysm – berry aneurysm is a deadly kind of ‘bulges’ developing in the brain arteries; it co-exists with ADPKD. It can present with headache, more importantly, burst and kill – anytime. Autosomal dominant means there is high chance that his brother has ADPKD responsible for hypertension and an undetected bleeding aneurysm in the brain. I run back to the ward; leaving the brother dumbfounded at the car park. An emergency brain CT scan is ordered, which show a leaking aneurysm in his brain. He is taken up for neuro surgery, and he survives. I see him on review. ***A shaved head; but indeed, a close shave. ‘What did I learn? What is my piece of advice? Even the most logical criticism of a system, can prove us wrong one day. The deepest, humid, claustrophobic mine can harbour a unseen high-value diamond. 262.6K views View 10,232 up votes View 161 shares My note-Those who can appreciate satire in writing can understand satire in lines marked *** -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "iyer123" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to iyer123+unsubscr...@googlegroups.com. 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