GOOD JOKES 3-2024-01

 JOKE 1

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St.Peter checks his dossier 
and says, "Ah, you're an engineer, you're in thewrong place."

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and islet in.

Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with thelevel of comfort in hell, 
and starts designing and building improvements.

After a while, they've got air conditioning, flushtoilets and escalators, and 
the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and askswith a sneer, "So, how's it 
going down there in hell?"

Satan replies, "Hey, things are going great.We've got air conditioning, flush 
toilets and escalators, and there's notelling what this engineer is going to 
come up with next."

 

God replies, "What? You've got anengineer? That's a mistake, he should never 
have gotten down there, send him up here."

Satan says, "No way! I like having an engineeron the staff, and I'm keeping 
him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue."

Satan laughs uproariously and answers,

"Yeah right. And just where are you going to get a lawyer?!"

JOKE 2

POSTED BY Ramakrishnan Parthasarathy

Lives in Bengaluru, Karnataka, India8h

A woman looks around her after getting out of a planeand sees a priest. She 
asks him if he would do something to help her out. Whenthe priest responds with 
an “If I could,” she says:

 “Father, Ihave a brand new and unopened lady’s hairdryer on me that would be 
over the Customs limits, soif you wouldn’t mind, could you please carry it 
inside your robes for me? I’mafraid they’ll not let it pass, and I need to gift 
it to my friend who isseriously ill.”

 “Sure, child!But please note that if I’m questioned, I will not lie.”

 “ThanksFather, I understand, but no one would question you.”

The priest goes to the men’s room, shoves thethingamabob under his robes, comes 
out and ambles on. When he hits Customs, anofficial asks: “Do you have anything 
to declare, Father?”

 “I declarethat I have nothing from the top of my head till my waist.”

The bored official, amused by this, continues:

 “What do you have to say aboutthe region below your waist?”

 “Oh, I have todeclare a contraption that is intended for use on a woman, but 
that which tilldate hasn’t found its destiny.”

Tickled to the limit, the official waves the priestthrough.

JOKE 3

POSTED BY Slippery, Jan 21

A young lady went to her Dr and complained to herthat every time it rained she 
had a terrible pain right up between her thighs.The Dr examined her and said

 “I can’t seeanything wrong, although your skin is a little inflamed, please 
come back nexttime you have the pain”

The next day it happened to rain and the young ladyburst into the Drs surgery 
almost weeping in agony

 “Get on theexamining table” the Dr said. She did. The Dr lifted up her skirt 
and pulledher pants down.

 “Aha!’ Sghesaid …..”Nurse, give methe forceps. Nurse, give me the sterile 
scissors” and ‘Snip! Snip!’ sheplied her craft.

She looked down at the young lady

 “Stand up” shesaid “Now take a step”

The young lady took a step, then another “Dr!” Shecried, “It’s wonderful, 
itdoesn’t hurt anymore! What did you do?”

The Dr looked quizzically at her …

 “I cut an inch off the top of yourgumboots”

JOKE 4

POSTED BY Robert Sarracino,20h

A man visits a doctor and says,

Man: “Doc, every morning I get this stabbling pain inmy right eye.”

Doctor: “Hmm. When does this happen?”

Man: “At breakfast. Right when I’m drinking my coffee.”

Doctor: “Ah, hmm… Try taking the spoon out of your coffee before you drinkit.”

JOKE 5

Posted by Rebecca C.1y

A young doctor had moved out to a small community toreplace a doctor who was 
retiring. 

The older doctor suggested that the young oneaccompany him on his rounds, so 
the community could become used to a newdoctor.

At the first house, a woman complains, "I'vebeen a little sick to my stomach."

The older doctor says, "Well, you've probablybeen overdoing the fresh fruit. 
Cut back on the amount you've been eating andsee if that does the trick?"

As they left, the younger man said, "You didn'teven examine that woman? How'd 
you come to the diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on thefloor in there? 
When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen bananapeels in the 
trash. That was what probably was making her sick."

The younger doctor said "Pretty clever. If youdon't mind, I think I'll try that 
at the next house."

 

Arriving at the next house, they spent severalminutes talking with a younger 
woman. She said that she just didn't have theenergy she once did and said, "I'm 
feeling terribly run down lately."

"You've probably been doing too much for theChurch," the younger doctor told 
her. "Perhaps you should cut back abit and see if that helps."

As they left, the elder doctor said, "I knowthat woman well. Your diagnosis is 
almost certainly correct, she's very activein the church, but how did you 
arrive at it?"

"I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscopeand, when I bent 
down to retrieve it, I noticed the vicar under the bed”.

The jokes are from the Quora digest to me today. Gopalakrishnan29-03-2024

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