SELF-TALK GOOD OR BAD PSYCHOLOGY TODAY
Researchers say that the act of talking to yourself — self-talk or
self-directed talk — is a common and normal behaviour at any age. It may
help people find mislaid items and understand instructions, among other
benefits.
Practically everyone engages in self-talk, though people vary in how often
they talk to themselves.
What people say to themselves under their breath counts, sometimes for
better, sometimes for worse.
It's important to begin a dialogue with one's self to gain control of one's
inner voice.
We know so little about it, but we do it all the time. You’re probably
doing it right now. Talking to yourself silently under your breath, voicing
an internal monologue with an audience of only one. So what is it that your
inner voice is saying to you these days? Is it helping or hindering you? Is
it friend or foe?
Who was it that said, “When the mind is thinking, it is talking to itself”? It
sounds like a quote from a contemporary psychologist, but the source is
actually much, much older. The quote is attributed to the ancient Greek
philosopher Plato, who lived between 427 BCE and 347 BCE. Plato recognized
that when we think, we use words to express our thoughts silently to
ourselves (or sometimes out loud when we’re out of earshot of other people).
What you say to yourself under your breath matters. It can shape how you
feel and determine the quality of your life. It also shapes how you see the
world, and it is your perception of the world that becomes your reality.
For better or sometimes for worse, that little voice in your head helps you
through the day or makes each day more difficult to bear.
Self-talk has several useful functions. It can help us improve our
performance (think of athletes using self-talk to psych themselves up). It
can enhance our motivation (think of telling yourself to keep going, that
you can do it). It can help us regulate our emotions (think of using
calming self-talk to control anxiety). It can also help us solve problems
(think of times you have tried out alternative solutions to a problem in
your head).
Five Steps to Take Charge of That Inner Voice
1. Recognize that self-talk is normal and that you do it for a large chunk
of your day. We all do, well, virtually all of us do. In a university-based
study, researchers found that students typically talked to themselves for
about a quarter of their daily waking experience (Heavey & Hurlburt, 2008).
Some students, a small minority, had no inner speech at all, whereas others
engaged in inner speech a third or more of the time, with one student
reporting inner speech 75 percent of the time.
Interestingly, the investigators found that students who talked to
themselves more frequently tended to report lower levels of psychological
distress. This suggests that inner speech may help us regulate negative
emotions. Alternatively, it might be that more well-adjusted people just
happen to talk to themselves more frequently. Though inner speech may be
associated with better psychological health, it depends on whether your
self-talk helps you cope with the challenges you face or is yet one more
roadblock to your emotional well-being.
2. When that inner voice dumps on you, dump back. Stop yourself when you
capture a negative thought in your head. Ask yourself: Is it necessarily
true, or does it only seem that way? Is the thought grounded in reality, or
might it be distorted in some way? What type of cognitive distortion does
it represent—all-or-nothing thinking, catastrophizing, expecting the worst,
personalizing things that don’t have to do with you, pinning nasty labels
on yourself, etc.?
3. Have a dialogue with yourself. Begin talking back to yourself. Stop
whenever you hear your inner voice getting down on yourself. Talk back to
your inner voice when things you mutter under your breath push your
emotional buttons. Challenge negative thoughts by asking yourself questions
such as these:
Why must it be so?
Who says it must be so?
Is there any evidence that it must be so?
Whose voice is talking in my head when I think this way?
Whose words does it sound like?
Might there be another way of viewing this situation?
What rational thought can I substitute for this disturbing thought?
4. Put some pep in your pep talk. When talking to yourself, focus on what
you can do, not what you haven’t done. Motivate yourself to engage in life,
reminding yourself that “I’ve got this.” Ask yourself what you can do today
to make a difference in your life.
5. Stop a negative thought in its tracks. You can’t control the thoughts
that pop into your head. But importantly, you can control how you respond
to them. We may be able to walk and chew gum at the same time, but the
human brain is not engineered to be able to think of two or more things
simultaneously. So, stopping a negative thought involves squeezing it out
by replacing one thought with another.
So when a negative thought pops into your head, think of something else,
anything at all, but something that occupies your mind. Or perform a
competing response, like rubbing your arm or tapping your fingers. Or
picture an image of a stop sign in your mind and say firmly to
yourself, “Stop!”
Or pick up that favourite book of yours. Or cut the disturbing thought down
to size by reminding yourself, “It’s just a thought. It has no power over
me.” Find alternative responses that work for you.
Negative self-talk may have become so deeply ingrained that it is hard to
imagine any other way of looking at things. It may be difficult to turn a
new leaf in your mind and see things from a fresh perspective. Change can
occur in a minute’s time, but for it to have a lasting impact, it needs to
become a well-practiced habit over the long term. It may help to talk with
a cognitive behaviour therapist or reach out to a friend. Getting another
perspective can help you change your own.
© 2023 Jeffrey S. Nevid
What does our Upanishad say? The Upanishads emphasize the
importance of self-inquiry and introspection as a means to understand the
nature of the Self. They encourage individuals to go beyond the superficial
identification with the body and the ego, and to delve deeper into their
innermost being.
The practice of dialoguing— Samaveda —and maintaining two distinct
styles of argumentation while presenting a position—purvapaksa
uttarapaksa—makes the Indian tradition a living one. These two practices
also consider the cognitive and emotive development of the people involved
while indicating an interactive socio-cultural context. Samaveda plays a
central role in understanding Indian philosophy as well as Indian psychology.
Samaveda has references not only to logical and epistemological methods but
also to states of mind which are important in the discussion about the
primal nature of self. Hence, the discussions on metaphysical and
ontological issues are always interrelated to understanding ethical,
axiological, aesthetic, and spiritual issues. There is a constant attempt
to reconcile and integrate different experiences, and the existence of
contradictions so as to generate worldviews based on an understanding of
life with answers for fundamental questions about self-identity, nature of
world, creation, purpose of life, nature of knowledge, value systems etc.
The pre-Upanishadic literature initiates the first expression of dialogue
in the form of prayers and hymns. As we come to the Upanishadic literature,
Samaveda takes a distinct shape, with dialogues between the old sage and
the young student, father and son, sage and king, sage and God, death and
young boy, husband and wife, to list a few instances. The nature of
Samaveda also takes different forms such as formal debate, argumentation,
instruction, loving, sharing, and discussion.
In a dialogue between the Speech and the Mind, Prajapati is made
to describe speech as “Thou art the messenger of mind, for what one thinks
of in the mind, one utters in speech.” {X 121 2} In a developed
version Taittiriya
Samhita recognises the limitations of both speech and mind in defining the
first comprehensive principle which is inclusive of speech and mind but not
exhausted by them. It says, “Finite are the hymns, finite the chants,
finite the ritual formulae, to what constitute Brahman however there is no
end.”{11 5 11} Vajaneya samhita says about the mind talking with you as,” “May
that mind of mine be of auspicious resolve, which is divine; which goes out
afar when I am awake, and which similarly comes back when I am asleep; that
which goes far and wide, and is the light of lights.” The Upanishads refer
to manas as the coordinating factor which governs the five organs of
perception and five organs of action. It is ascribed of material origin. It
also accounts for buddhi as the intellect, the organ of discrimination,
ahamkara as the organ of personal ego and citta as the subconscious mind. In
the Aitareya Upanishads, a distinction is drawn between consciousness as
the real knower and mind as just a sense organ. The various functions which
can be classified under the three categories of cognition, affection, and
conation, are enumerated with much precision. “Perception, discrimination,
intelligence, wisdom, insight, steadfastness, thought, thoughtfulness,
impulse, memory conception, purpose, life, desire, control”—{2 1 2} all
these are identified as the operative names of consciousness. A further
point of psychological interest is the analysis of the cognitive act based
on the knower (praajna), intellect (prajna), and cognition (prajnana). Do
these mental functions have any independent existence? According to
Aitareya Upanishads, all mental processes are only the many names of
consciousness. Brahadaranyaka Upanishads says, “when breathing he is called
the vital force, when speaking voice, when seeing the eye, when hearing the
ear, when thinking the mind; these are merely the names of his acts.” Thus,
talking to self is healthy as long as it is inner configurations without
any body language, as far as possible K Rajaram IRS 10724 11724
On Wed, 10 Jul 2024 at 18:43, Jambunathan Iyer <[email protected]>
wrote:
> Be your own best friend because more than people we criticize our own
> selves and this negativity of ours holds us back. Instead of doing this,
> treat yourself with kindness. It is very important to acknowledge your
> strengths and accomplishments, no matter how small it is. Talk to yourself
> just like you talk with your best friend.
>
> N Jambunathan Rengarajapuram-Kodambakkam-Chennai-Mob:9176159004
>
> *" What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you
> become by achieving your goals. If you want to live a happy life, tie it to
> a goal, not to people or things "*
>
>
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