Hidden Passions
By Kabuki
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
July 2000
~~~~~~~~
Disclaimer: This is a work on non-profit speculative fiction. Louis and
Lestat belong to Anne Rice and Knopf Publishing. No infringement intended i.e.
please don't sue me!!!
Spolers: IwtV. This is a part of Louis' interview that went unpublished in
the VC.
Random Ranting: Hope you enjoy this! I haven't written in a bit and I hope
this is something useful and not just a waste of your time and mine. I know
it's good if I get comments, so be sure to press that handy dandy reply button
and send me a few! Your spec writer appreciates every little word of
encouragement. Flamers need not respond. *s*
~~~~~~~~~
"The room was dark to the eyes of a mortal, yet to those of a vampire there
was more light than necessary to find prey. The men and women in question
were not yet at home, but soon they would return. They could be heard coming
up
the front walk, the tap of a gentleman's cane resonating in the emptied
streets. The couple knew they shouldn't be out so very late, yet only the
woman
seemed to worry about the spread of darkness or the lack of a moon. The man
was
rather drunk and didn't really pay attention to such signs of danger.
"Lestat was a vampire who took the lives of mortals every night, and with
such practice as I could not yet attain he had become more than apt at hunting
his prey. He had insisted I follow every step of this kill, from the careful
choosing of a wealthy man and wife to the two nights of stalking which led to
this final few moments when he would move in for the kill."
The boy took a long drag on his cigarette and released the smoke as he
spoke. "He was trying to teach you, then?"
"In a fashion, yes. He seemed to think that by showing me the kill in every
step, not as a single stroke but as a thoughtful and above all else skillful
maneuver I might take the initiative, so to speak. As though by dragging me
along I would learn his predatory and unfeeling nature toward his victims."
The vampire was relaxed, his hands folded upon the table and his back
resting comfortably against the back of the chair. The boy looked at him for a
long
moment then lowered his gaze. The vampire smiled. "Am I being too vague?
What am I forgetting?"
"I just don't understand. You had trouble taking human lives, but surely you
would have felt the desire to kill the same as he did."
"You think I must have become caught up in the thrill of the hunt then?"
"Yes, that's what I mean. You seemed troubled by the viciousness of it all.
Why did this bother you as much, to stalk a victim like that?"
The vampire seemed puzzled, and he cocked his head a little before
realization seemed to take hold and he gave a small sound of affirmation. "I
see. You
assume that because I was watching the hunt I might become tempted to do as
he did. To take life."
"Sort of. You make it sound different than I think it is. Think of it this
way: a man is hungry and starving for food on an island where the only living
creature is a cat. If he had the tools and the means, do you think it would
be wise to still refrain from preying upon the cat?"
"A cat and a man are two different instances entirely upon which to feed.
Cannibalism is detested in all societies, but what Lestat desired I do was to
abandon that natural revulsion by watching him partake in the act. His methods
only served to heighten my apprehension and disgust instead of the reverse.
Had he shown more kindness or taken more care I should have latched on to my
vampire nature more swiftly, for I do take a mortal life every night now."
The boy seemed unmoved by the explanations, yet he nodded and motioned for
the vampire to continue. A silence descended in which the vampire leveled a
gaze at the boy for a moment before knitting his brows in confusion as though
a
strange thought had occurred to him. He looked at the boy closely then
sighed. "Ask the question. You may as well. It burns in your mind as lightning
burns the night sky."
Snuffing out his shortened cigarette and fishing for another, the boy
responded. "It's only, the way you speak of Lestat. You say you wish he had
shown
more kindness and care, and in the same breathe are angry at him for being
inattentive. You talk about not condoning any of his actions, but you never
left
him. Why? I get the feeling you're hiding something about him, and I tend to
trust my instincts."
A nod was the reply, and the vampire pushed back his chair and stood. The
boy made a sudden motion as though he thought his subject would leave, but the
vampire smiled sadly at him before moving to the open window. He placed both
hands on the sill and gazed out over the city streets and into the night sky.
His entire demeanor was one of regret and deep thought, and when he spoke it
was so soft that the tape player may not have recorded it. "You're instincts
are truthful. I am deceiving myself with these false pretenses and lies. I
came here intended to tell the truth to you, and that means the entirety of
the truth.
"Yes, I am hiding something about Lestat. Something that I am still
unaccustomed of speaking and that I haven't mentioned to another immortal in a
century.
"Lestat and I, we had our disagreements, but at times there was something
indescribable about him that, for want of a better word, attracted me. He
still
retained the countenance of an angel in his more refined moments, of which
there were perhaps more than I have been willing to tell. It was difficult
living with him for so long, and we had not yet made the other addition to our
little household, on which I will speak soon. But, to return to Lestat, I was
bewitched by him I suppose. We never came closer than a few tentative touches
and curious glances, but the tension in the plantation was oppressive. It
was not so much the arguments or the curiosity of the slaves, but our own
stubborn wills and the mutual refusal to give in to the decadent pleasures we
both
thought of when looking at the other. It has taken many decades for me to
realize that it was not only his pride, but my own that kept us apart. It was
this pride, and worse that we would not even voice our true feelings, that
made living under the same roof increasingly difficult."
The boy was confused and astounded for a moment, and the vampire used this
time to return to his seat and sigh deeply, "You have a question?"
"I hate to be a bother..."
The vampire sighed again and shook his head, his eyes open and friendly once
more though still retaining a hint of the sadness of earlier. "It is no
bother. I should have said that before. Please ask."
"I was only wondering... can two vampires... have..."
"You wish to know is vampires can have sex, correct? Why do you have trouble
saying it? Do I seem to old-fashioned that I cannot utter the word?" There
was amusement in his voice and he chuckled deep in his throat. "Vampires,
unfortunately, cannot engage in what mortals call 'sex', but we can exchange
blood and caress each other's flesh until a peak of pleasure is obtained."
"Did you and Lestat ever do that?"
The vampire met the boy's eyes and smiled. "No. I thought about it, and so
did he I assure you, but we never did." The smile faded and the vampire sat
back, as though his own words had spoken a truth to him he had not yet come to
realize.
"Do you regret it? Not being with him like that?"
"Oh yes. Every night."
Another silence spread, and then the boy spoke softly. "It must be hard for
you. Do you ever seen him? You said the slaves were curious about you both.
What happened?"
"I'll get to that. For now, let's try to tell the story in a linear fashion.
That is the easiest way to tell a tale as long as mine. Let me see... ah
yes. Lestat had taken me out to watch him hunt. I despised it and told him so,
but he would have none of it. 'You think I enjoy hunting in front of you?
Knowing that you criticize my every motion?' Our arguments were endless. But
as
for the couple he had planned to kill, they suspected nothing as they turned
the key in their front door lock and stepped into the house. Lestat and I were
concealed in deepest shadow, his eyes glittering in the light of the oil
lamps being lit by the woman as the man removed his hat, gloves, and cape.
They
separated, the woman moving on to the main rooms while the man remained in
the foyer.
"Lestat looked at me and I knew what he wanted. He desired that I take the
woman while he slew the man. I had no desire to do as he wished, but the
bloodlust was intense within me. The devil had not allowed me to feed earlier
and
it was near the end of the night. I had no choice and reluctantly nodded. The
look of elation on his face made me furious, but my hunger was overpowering
and I had no choice but to do as he wished.
"I watched him move up behind the man, who seemed suddenly distracted by the
gilded mirror on an opposing wall. I expected Lestat to be seen by this
means, but if nothing else my maker was skillful in avoiding such mistakes.
When
he sank his fangs into his victim there was no chance for struggle or escape.
The man's body thudded to the wooden floor, and Lestat looked at me and
smiled with lips blood reddened. The world seemed strange then, but as much as
I
hated the thought of proceeding, I knew Lestat would see this plan through to
the end regardless of my complaints. With heavy heart, I made my way to the
next room.
"The woman was seated with her back to me, testing the piano to see if it
was in tune. It sounded fine to my preternatural hearing, but the woman seemed
unsatisfied and hit the same key over and over, pausing in between to listen
carefully. I took her quickly, drowning in her soul before pulling back. She
was nearly dead, but I could allow myself to kill her. I slashed my thumb,
meaning to heal the fatal wound, but Lestat grasped my hand in the final
instant allowing the woman to wilt and die in my arms as I struggled against
his
powerful grip. I was furious, and shook my arm as though I could free myself.
'You let her die! I could have s
