Hidden Passions 
By Kabuki 
[EMAIL PROTECTED] 
July 2000 
~~~~~~~~ 
Disclaimer: This is a work on non-profit speculative fiction. Louis and  
Lestat belong to Anne Rice and Knopf Publishing. No infringement intended  i.e. 
please don't sue me!!! 
Spolers: IwtV. This is a part of Louis' interview that went unpublished  in 
the VC.  
Random Ranting: Hope you enjoy this! I haven't written in a bit and I  hope 
this is something useful and not just a waste of your time and mine.  I know 
it's good if I get comments, so be sure to press that handy dandy  reply button 
and send me a few! Your spec writer appreciates every little  word of 
encouragement. Flamers need not respond. *s* 
~~~~~~~~~ 
"The room was dark to the eyes of a mortal, yet to those of a vampire  there 
was more light than necessary to find prey. The men and women in  question 
were not yet at home, but soon they would return. They could be  heard coming 
up 
the front walk, the tap of a gentleman's cane resonating  in the emptied 
streets. The couple knew they shouldn't be out so very  late, yet only the 
woman 
seemed to worry about the spread of darkness or  the lack of a moon. The man 
was 
rather drunk and didn't really pay  attention to such signs of danger. 
"Lestat was a vampire who took the lives of mortals every night, and  with 
such practice as I could not yet attain he had become more than apt  at hunting 
his prey. He had insisted I follow every step of this kill,  from the careful 
choosing of a wealthy man and wife to the two nights of  stalking which led to 
this final few moments when he would move in for the  kill." 
The boy took a long drag on his cigarette and released the smoke as he  
spoke. "He was trying to teach you, then?" 
"In a fashion, yes. He seemed to think that by showing me the kill in  every 
step, not as a single stroke but as a thoughtful and above all else  skillful 
maneuver I might take the initiative, so to speak. As though by  dragging me 
along I would learn his predatory and unfeeling nature toward  his victims." 
The vampire was relaxed, his hands folded upon the table and his back  
resting comfortably against the back of the chair. The boy looked at him  for a 
long 
moment then lowered his gaze. The vampire smiled. "Am I being  too vague? 
What am I forgetting?" 
"I just don't understand. You had trouble taking human lives, but  surely you 
would have felt the desire to kill the same as he did." 
"You think I must have become caught up in the thrill of the hunt  then?" 
"Yes, that's what I mean. You seemed troubled by the viciousness of it  all. 
Why did this bother you as much, to stalk a victim like that?" 
The vampire seemed puzzled, and he cocked his head a little before  
realization seemed to take hold and he gave a small sound of affirmation.  "I 
see. You 
assume that because I was watching the hunt I might become  tempted to do as 
he did. To take life." 
"Sort of. You make it sound different than I think it is. Think of it  this 
way: a man is hungry and starving for food on an island where the  only living 
creature is a cat. If he had the tools and the means, do you  think it would 
be wise to still refrain from preying upon the cat?" 
"A cat and a man are two different instances entirely upon which to  feed. 
Cannibalism is detested in all societies, but what Lestat desired I  do was to 
abandon that natural revulsion by watching him partake in the  act. His methods 
only served to heighten my apprehension and disgust  instead of the reverse. 
Had he shown more kindness or taken more care I  should have latched on to my 
vampire nature more swiftly, for I do take a  mortal life every night now." 
The boy seemed unmoved by the explanations, yet he nodded and motioned  for 
the vampire to continue. A silence descended in which the vampire  leveled a 
gaze at the boy for a moment before knitting his brows in  confusion as though 
a 
strange thought had occurred to him. He looked at  the boy closely then 
sighed. "Ask the question. You may as well. It burns  in your mind as lightning 
burns the night sky." 
Snuffing out his shortened cigarette and fishing for another, the boy  
responded. "It's only, the way you speak of Lestat. You say you wish he  had 
shown 
more kindness and care, and in the same breathe are angry at him  for being 
inattentive. You talk about not condoning any of his actions,  but you never 
left 
him. Why? I get the feeling you're hiding something  about him, and I tend to 
trust my instincts." 
A nod was the reply, and the vampire pushed back his chair and stood.  The 
boy made a sudden motion as though he thought his subject would leave,  but the 
vampire smiled sadly at him before moving to the open window. He  placed both 
hands on the sill and gazed out over the city streets and into  the night sky. 
His entire demeanor was one of regret and deep thought, and  when he spoke it 
was so soft that the tape player may not have recorded  it. "You're instincts 
are truthful. I am deceiving myself with these false  pretenses and lies. I 
came here intended to tell the truth to you, and  that means the entirety of 
the truth. 
"Yes, I am hiding something about Lestat. Something that I am still  
unaccustomed of speaking and that I haven't mentioned to another immortal  in a 
century. 
"Lestat and I, we had our disagreements, but at times there was  something 
indescribable about him that, for want of a better word,  attracted me. He 
still 
retained the countenance of an angel in his more  refined moments, of which 
there were perhaps more than I have been willing  to tell. It was difficult 
living with him for so long, and we had not yet  made the other addition to our 
little household, on which I will speak  soon. But, to return to Lestat, I was 
bewitched by him I suppose. We never  came closer than a few tentative touches 
and curious glances, but the  tension in the plantation was oppressive. It 
was not so much the arguments  or the curiosity of the slaves, but our own 
stubborn wills and the mutual  refusal to give in to the decadent pleasures we 
both 
thought of when  looking at the other. It has taken many decades for me to 
realize that it  was not only his pride, but my own that kept us apart. It was 
this pride,  and worse that we would not even voice our true feelings, that 
made living  under the same roof increasingly difficult." 
The boy was confused and astounded for a moment, and the vampire used  this 
time to return to his seat and sigh deeply, "You have a  question?" 
"I hate to be a bother..." 
The vampire sighed again and shook his head, his eyes open and friendly  once 
more though still retaining a hint of the sadness of earlier. "It is  no 
bother. I should have said that before. Please ask." 
"I was only wondering... can two vampires... have..." 
"You wish to know is vampires can have sex, correct? Why do you have  trouble 
saying it? Do I seem to old-fashioned that I cannot utter the  word?" There 
was amusement in his voice and he chuckled deep in his  throat. "Vampires, 
unfortunately, cannot engage in what mortals call  'sex', but we can exchange 
blood and caress each other's flesh until a  peak of pleasure is obtained." 
"Did you and Lestat ever do that?" 
The vampire met the boy's eyes and smiled. "No. I thought about it, and  so 
did he I assure you, but we never did." The smile faded and the vampire  sat 
back, as though his own words had spoken a truth to him he had not yet  come to 
realize. 
"Do you regret it? Not being with him like that?" 
"Oh yes. Every night." 
Another silence spread, and then the boy spoke softly. "It must be hard  for 
you. Do you ever seen him? You said the slaves were curious about you  both. 
What happened?" 
"I'll get to that. For now, let's try to tell the story in a linear  fashion. 
That is the easiest way to tell a tale as long as mine. Let me  see... ah 
yes. Lestat had taken me out to watch him hunt. I despised it  and told him so, 
but he would have none of it. 'You think I enjoy hunting  in front of you? 
Knowing that you criticize my every motion?' Our  arguments were endless. But 
as 
for the couple he had planned to kill, they  suspected nothing as they turned 
the key in their front door lock and  stepped into the house. Lestat and I were 
concealed in deepest shadow, his  eyes glittering in the light of the oil 
lamps being lit by the woman as  the man removed his hat, gloves, and cape. 
They 
separated, the woman  moving on to the main rooms while the man remained in 
the foyer.  
"Lestat looked at me and I knew what he wanted. He desired that I take  the 
woman while he slew the man. I had no desire to do as he wished, but  the 
bloodlust was intense within me. The devil had not allowed me to feed  earlier 
and 
it was near the end of the night. I had no choice and  reluctantly nodded. The 
look of elation on his face made me furious, but  my hunger was overpowering 
and I had no choice but to do as he wished. 
"I watched him move up behind the man, who seemed suddenly distracted  by the 
gilded mirror on an opposing wall. I expected Lestat to be seen by  this 
means, but if nothing else my maker was skillful in avoiding such  mistakes. 
When 
he sank his fangs into his victim there was no chance for  struggle or escape. 
The man's body thudded to the wooden floor, and Lestat  looked at me and 
smiled with lips blood reddened. The world seemed strange  then, but as much as 
I 
hated the thought of proceeding, I knew Lestat  would see this plan through to 
the end regardless of my complaints. With  heavy heart, I made my way to the 
next room.  
"The woman was seated with her back to me, testing the piano to see if  it 
was in tune. It sounded fine to my preternatural hearing, but the woman  seemed 
unsatisfied and hit the same key over and over, pausing in between  to listen 
carefully. I took her quickly, drowning in her soul before  pulling back. She 
was nearly dead, but I could allow myself to kill her. I  slashed my thumb, 
meaning to heal the fatal wound, but Lestat grasped my  hand in the final 
instant allowing the woman to wilt and die in my arms as  I struggled against 
his 
powerful grip. I was furious, and shook my arm as  though I could free myself. 
'You let her die! I could have s


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