Hidden Passions By Kabuki [EMAIL PROTECTED] July 2000 ~~~~~~~~ Disclaimer: This is a work on non-profit speculative fiction. Louis and Lestat belong to Anne Rice and Knopf Publishing. No infringement intended i.e. please don't sue me!!! Spolers: IwtV. This is a part of Louis' interview that went unpublished in the VC. Random Ranting: Hope you enjoy this! I haven't written in a bit and I hope this is something useful and not just a waste of your time and mine. I know it's good if I get comments, so be sure to press that handy dandy reply button and send me a few! Your spec writer appreciates every little word of encouragement. Flamers need not respond. *s* ~~~~~~~~~ "The room was dark to the eyes of a mortal, yet to those of a vampire there was more light than necessary to find prey. The men and women in question were not yet at home, but soon they would return. They could be heard coming up the front walk, the tap of a gentleman's cane resonating in the emptied streets. The couple knew they shouldn't be out so very late, yet only the woman seemed to worry about the spread of darkness or the lack of a moon. The man was rather drunk and didn't really pay attention to such signs of danger. "Lestat was a vampire who took the lives of mortals every night, and with such practice as I could not yet attain he had become more than apt at hunting his prey. He had insisted I follow every step of this kill, from the careful choosing of a wealthy man and wife to the two nights of stalking which led to this final few moments when he would move in for the kill." The boy took a long drag on his cigarette and released the smoke as he spoke. "He was trying to teach you, then?" "In a fashion, yes. He seemed to think that by showing me the kill in every step, not as a single stroke but as a thoughtful and above all else skillful maneuver I might take the initiative, so to speak. As though by dragging me along I would learn his predatory and unfeeling nature toward his victims." The vampire was relaxed, his hands folded upon the table and his back resting comfortably against the back of the chair. The boy looked at him for a long moment then lowered his gaze. The vampire smiled. "Am I being too vague? What am I forgetting?" "I just don't understand. You had trouble taking human lives, but surely you would have felt the desire to kill the same as he did." "You think I must have become caught up in the thrill of the hunt then?" "Yes, that's what I mean. You seemed troubled by the viciousness of it all. Why did this bother you as much, to stalk a victim like that?" The vampire seemed puzzled, and he cocked his head a little before realization seemed to take hold and he gave a small sound of affirmation. "I see. You assume that because I was watching the hunt I might become tempted to do as he did. To take life." "Sort of. You make it sound different than I think it is. Think of it this way: a man is hungry and starving for food on an island where the only living creature is a cat. If he had the tools and the means, do you think it would be wise to still refrain from preying upon the cat?" "A cat and a man are two different instances entirely upon which to feed. Cannibalism is detested in all societies, but what Lestat desired I do was to abandon that natural revulsion by watching him partake in the act. His methods only served to heighten my apprehension and disgust instead of the reverse. Had he shown more kindness or taken more care I should have latched on to my vampire nature more swiftly, for I do take a mortal life every night now." The boy seemed unmoved by the explanations, yet he nodded and motioned for the vampire to continue. A silence descended in which the vampire leveled a gaze at the boy for a moment before knitting his brows in confusion as though a strange thought had occurred to him. He looked at the boy closely then sighed. "Ask the question. You may as well. It burns in your mind as lightning burns the night sky." Snuffing out his shortened cigarette and fishing for another, the boy responded. "It's only, the way you speak of Lestat. You say you wish he had shown more kindness and care, and in the same breathe are angry at him for being inattentive. You talk about not condoning any of his actions, but you never left him. Why? I get the feeling you're hiding something about him, and I tend to trust my instincts." A nod was the reply, and the vampire pushed back his chair and stood. The boy made a sudden motion as though he thought his subject would leave, but the vampire smiled sadly at him before moving to the open window. He placed both hands on the sill and gazed out over the city streets and into the night sky. His entire demeanor was one of regret and deep thought, and when he spoke it was so soft that the tape player may not have recorded it. "You're instincts are truthful. I am deceiving myself with these false pretenses and lies. I came here intended to tell the truth to you, and that means the entirety of the truth. "Yes, I am hiding something about Lestat. Something that I am still unaccustomed of speaking and that I haven't mentioned to another immortal in a century. "Lestat and I, we had our disagreements, but at times there was something indescribable about him that, for want of a better word, attracted me. He still retained the countenance of an angel in his more refined moments, of which there were perhaps more than I have been willing to tell. It was difficult living with him for so long, and we had not yet made the other addition to our little household, on which I will speak soon. But, to return to Lestat, I was bewitched by him I suppose. We never came closer than a few tentative touches and curious glances, but the tension in the plantation was oppressive. It was not so much the arguments or the curiosity of the slaves, but our own stubborn wills and the mutual refusal to give in to the decadent pleasures we both thought of when looking at the other. It has taken many decades for me to realize that it was not only his pride, but my own that kept us apart. It was this pride, and worse that we would not even voice our true feelings, that made living under the same roof increasingly difficult." The boy was confused and astounded for a moment, and the vampire used this time to return to his seat and sigh deeply, "You have a question?" "I hate to be a bother..." The vampire sighed again and shook his head, his eyes open and friendly once more though still retaining a hint of the sadness of earlier. "It is no bother. I should have said that before. Please ask." "I was only wondering... can two vampires... have..." "You wish to know is vampires can have sex, correct? Why do you have trouble saying it? Do I seem to old-fashioned that I cannot utter the word?" There was amusement in his voice and he chuckled deep in his throat. "Vampires, unfortunately, cannot engage in what mortals call 'sex', but we can exchange blood and caress each other's flesh until a peak of pleasure is obtained." "Did you and Lestat ever do that?" The vampire met the boy's eyes and smiled. "No. I thought about it, and so did he I assure you, but we never did." The smile faded and the vampire sat back, as though his own words had spoken a truth to him he had not yet come to realize. "Do you regret it? Not being with him like that?" "Oh yes. Every night." Another silence spread, and then the boy spoke softly. "It must be hard for you. Do you ever seen him? You said the slaves were curious about you both. What happened?" "I'll get to that. For now, let's try to tell the story in a linear fashion. That is the easiest way to tell a tale as long as mine. Let me see... ah yes. Lestat had taken me out to watch him hunt. I despised it and told him so, but he would have none of it. 'You think I enjoy hunting in front of you? Knowing that you criticize my every motion?' Our arguments were endless. But as for the couple he had planned to kill, they suspected nothing as they turned the key in their front door lock and stepped into the house. Lestat and I were concealed in deepest shadow, his eyes glittering in the light of the oil lamps being lit by the woman as the man removed his hat, gloves, and cape. They separated, the woman moving on to the main rooms while the man remained in the foyer. "Lestat looked at me and I knew what he wanted. He desired that I take the woman while he slew the man. I had no desire to do as he wished, but the bloodlust was intense within me. The devil had not allowed me to feed earlier and it was near the end of the night. I had no choice and reluctantly nodded. The look of elation on his face made me furious, but my hunger was overpowering and I had no choice but to do as he wished. "I watched him move up behind the man, who seemed suddenly distracted by the gilded mirror on an opposing wall. I expected Lestat to be seen by this means, but if nothing else my maker was skillful in avoiding such mistakes. When he sank his fangs into his victim there was no chance for struggle or escape. The man's body thudded to the wooden floor, and Lestat looked at me and smiled with lips blood reddened. The world seemed strange then, but as much as I hated the thought of proceeding, I knew Lestat would see this plan through to the end regardless of my complaints. With heavy heart, I made my way to the next room. "The woman was seated with her back to me, testing the piano to see if it was in tune. It sounded fine to my preternatural hearing, but the woman seemed unsatisfied and hit the same key over and over, pausing in between to listen carefully. I took her quickly, drowning in her soul before pulling back. She was nearly dead, but I could allow myself to kill her. I slashed my thumb, meaning to heal the fatal wound, but Lestat grasped my hand in the final instant allowing the woman to wilt and die in my arms as I struggled against his powerful grip. I was furious, and shook my arm as though I could free myself. 'You let her die! I could have s
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