Free-Reprint Article Written by: Steve B. Reed See Terms of Reprint Below.
***************************************************************** * * This email is being delivered directly to members of the group: * * [email protected] * ***************************************************************** We have moved our TERMS OF REPRINT to the end of the article. Be certain to read our TERMS OF REPRINT and honor our TERMS OF REPRINT when you use this article. Thank you. This article has been distributed by: http://Article-Distribution.com Helpful Link: The Digital Millennium Copyright Act - Overview http://www.gseis.ucla.edu/iclp/dmca1.htm --------------------------------------------------------------------- Article Title: ============== Lack of Love - Lies Beneath Many of Life's Problems Article Description: ==================== Much of Jill's self-defeating behavior serves to recreate the type of environment she lived through. Like a magnet, she finds herself drawn to the familiar behaviors and feelings of her earliest years. Jill is now aware of her tendency to fall in love with men who are emotionally or physically absent. Additional Article Information: =============================== 724 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line Distribution Date and Time: 2006-09-13 12:12:00 Written By: Steve B. Reed Copyright: 2006 Contact Email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Steve B. Reed's Picture URL: http://www.psychotherapy-center.com/images/new-steve-index.jpg For more free-reprint articles by Steve B. Reed, please visit: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/d/index.shtml#Steve_B._Reed ============================================= Special Notice For Publishers and Webmasters: ============================================= If you use this article on your website or in your ezine, We Want To Know About It. Use the following URL to let us know where you have used this article, and we will include a link to your website on thePhantomWriters.com: http://thephantomwriters.com/notify.php?id=3537&p=load HTML Copy-and-Paste and TEXT Copy-and-Paste Versions Of Article Are Available at: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/db/r/lack-of-love.shtml#get_code --------------------------------------------------------------------- Lack of Love - Lies Beneath Many of Life's Problems Copyright © 2006 Steve B. Reed Psychotherapy Center http://www.psychotherapy-center.com An Early Lack Of Love: Jill's experience of childhood neglect has left invisible scars that she is still trying to heal. "If I was not worthy of time and affection," Jill concludes, "I must not be worthy at all." The mind of a child struggles to make sense of what is happening to them. Jill reached the conclusion long ago that there must be something terribly wrong with her. "I thought I must not be very lovable or I would have been loved more," she reasons. "No one was there to tell me that my mother suffers from clinical depression or that she grew up in home that did not give her any support or affection either." Jill intellectually realizes that her mother did the best she could, but her struggle is to understand this at an emotional level. That's the level where that five year old part of her, whose still very much with her, takes responsibility and blame for the love she did not get. Difficulty In Romantic Love Relationships: Much of Jill's self-defeating behavior serves to recreate the type of environment she lived through. Like a magnet, she finds herself drawn to the familiar behaviors and feelings of her earliest years. Jill is now aware of her tendency to fall in love with men who are emotionally or physically absent. Her history has trained her to tolerate it. In an odd way it feels familiar, like home and there are few things more attractive than that which is familiar. Jill says, "I've been conditioned to settle for very little in a romantic relationship. I suppose I don't really feel like I deserve that much." Her belief becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Part of the blueprint she follows is leading her along the path to emotional emptiness. Having learned what she lived, she now continues to live what she learned. Problems In The Work Environment: The wounds that are etched in her self-esteem shape her work life too. Until recently, she worked for a small business that operates more like a dysfunctional family. "When my hard work is not noticed or rewarded I feel disappointment but the lack of recognition is expected. It's just the way it has always been," Jill says. Jill's willingness to settle for so little, for so long, also ties back to her conclusions about her own worthlessness. She tolerates more than most people would. For most of her life she has never even considered that she deserves anything better. This pattern leads her to settle for a working environment that she hates and to believe that she is powerless to change. Training Baby Elephants: The neglect that Jill experiences in her family, romantic relationships, friendships, and at work is so pervasive that she rarely thinks to question it. She is conditioned not to struggle. She is like the elephant in a circus. When elephants are very young, they tie a strong chain around one of their legs. Then the chain is locked to a long steel spike that is anchored deep into the ground. The young elephant struggles against its captivity until it decides that it can not get away. The elephant then gives up. By the time it is grown, the elephant is so brain-washed that it will not try to break free. It stays put even when it is only tied with a thin rope that is attached to a small wooden stick. The lack of love that Jill suffered leaves her starving at love's banquet. She is unable to reach for the emotional nourishment that is all around her. She questions whether being on the receiving end of love is even possible. She is so bound by her old beliefs that she remains tied to a painful pattern of self-neglect and low self-acceptance. New Goals: Self-Acceptance, Self-Esteem & Self-Love: One thing that Jill does not question is her capability to learn. She is embarking on a journey of self-discovery and healing. A path of learning that leads beyond the ties that binds us to the past. She seeks the freedom to honor her needs and to love the part of her that suffers from neglect. Learning to deeply and profoundly accept herself is the first step to accepting the love her life longs for. That is a good start to solving many of life's other problems. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Steve B. Reed, LPC, LMSW, LMFT is a psychotherapist that specializes in treating trauma and anxiety disorders including social phobia. He treats people at his Richardson, Texas office (Dallas area) and through phone counseling worldwide. You can reach Steve at 972-997-9955 or through his website at: http://www.psychotherapy-center.com copyright 1998-2006, Steve B. Reed --- END ARTICLE --- Get HTML or TEXT Copy-and-Paste Versions Of This Article at: http://thePhantomWriters.com/free_content/db/r/lack-of-love.shtml#get_code ..................................... TERMS OF REPRINT - Publication Rules (Last Updated: May 11, 2006) Our TERMS OF REPRINT are fully enforcable under the terms of: The Digital Millennium Copyright Act http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/z?c105:H.R.2281.ENR: ..................................... *** Digital Reprint Rights *** * If you publish this article in a website/forum/blog, You Must Set All URL's or Mailto Addresses in the body of the article AND in the Author's Resource Box as Hyperlinks (clickable links). * Links must remain in the form that we published them. Clean links should point to the Author's links without redirects having been inserted into the copy. * You are not allowed to Change or Delete any Words or Links in the Article or Resource Box. Paragraph breaks must be retained with articles. You can change where the paragraph breaks fall, but you cannot eliminate all paragraph breaks as some have chosen to do. * Email Distribution of this article Must be done through Opt-in Email Only. No Unsolicited Commercial Email. * You Are Allowed to format the layout of the article for proper display of the article in your website or in your ezine, so long as you can maintain the author's interests within the article. * You may not use sentences from this article as an input for any software that steals sentences from others in order to build an article with software. The copyright on this article applies to the "WHOLE" article. *** Author Notification *** We ask that you notify the author of publication of his or her work. Steve B. Reed can be reached at: [EMAIL PROTECTED] *** Print Publication Reprint Rights *** If you desire to publish this article in a PRINT publication, you must contact the author directly for Print Permission at: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] ..................................... If you need help converting this text article for proper hyperlinked placement in your webpage, please use this free tool: http://thephantomwriters.com/link-builder.pl ===================================================================== ABOUT THIS ARTICLE SUBMISSION http://thePhantomWriters.com is a paid article distribution service. thePhantomWriters.com and Article-Distribution.com are owned and operated by Bill Platt of Stillwater, Oklahoma USA. The content of this article is solely the property and opinion of its author, Steve B. Reed http://www.psychotherapy-center.com --------------------------------------------------------------------- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX --------------------------------------------------------------------- *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* To have your article appear in this distribution list, you must absolutely be a client of thePhantomWriters. We offer a paid article distribution service, and this is one of the more than 60 groups where we submit our client articles. To learn more about our program, visit: http://thePhantomWriters.com/x.pl/tpw/index.htm Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thePhantomWriters/ <*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional <*> To change settings online go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/thePhantomWriters/join (Yahoo! ID required) <*> To change settings via email: mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
