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Why Attraction is a Mistake in Marketing

Article Description:
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Coffee shop. The background beat of some silly pop music. Buzz of
conversation. The glow of laptop screens. And then, one near the
counter, the other in a window seat, they both look up, and their
eyes meet. Attraction! Next thing you know, they're picking out
paint colors, and sharing chores in some nice little house in the
neighborhood. It's a cozy picture, isn't it? If only your
clients would move into your business as easily. Unfortunately,
when your eyes meet theirs, they tend to look away.


Additional Article Information:
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1025 Words; formatted to 65 Characters per Line
Distribution Date and Time: 2008-07-24 11:12:00

Written By:     Mark Silver
Copyright:      2008
Contact Email:  mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]



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Why Attraction is a Mistake in Marketing
Copyright (c) 2008 Mark Silver
Heart Of Business
http://www.heartofbusiness.com/



Coffee shop. The background beat of some silly pop music. Buzz of
conversation. The glow of laptop screens.

And then, one near the counter, the other in a window seat, they
both look up, and their eyes meet. Attraction! Next thing you
know, they're picking out paint colors, and sharing chores in
some nice little house in the neighborhood.

It's a cozy picture, isn't it? If only your clients would move
into your business as easily.

Unfortunately, when your eyes meet theirs, they tend to look
away.

How can you get that attraction thing working in your business?

Wouldn't it be so nice? If you, and your marketing, could just
be glancing around the world filled with love and zip, zip, zip,
clients just moved in? Ahhh, domestic business bliss.

You already know, or suspect, it doesn't work like that. You
know because you've been trying and it hasn't been working.

Except very occasionally. For instance, my wife Holly received a
call the other day from someone who had her business card for the
last two years, and just had an intuition to call her. Zing!
Business attraction!

(At least, it better be business attraction! Unless there's
something she's not telling me...)

But, if she, or I, or you, stood around waiting for those
intuition-based phone calls... Well, you may already be suffering
the agony of that waiting. They do come along every now again, so
you might believe that's the way that it's supposed to happen.
But you'll never have a thriving business if you depend only on
those rare birds.

What's going on? If intuition and attraction are real, and you
can bet your heart they are, why don't more people call? Is it
because you aren't attractive enough?

It's not about attraction- it's about safety.

What is attraction? Attraction is about love. That mysterious,
ineffable quality that fills our hearts, turns our lives upside
down, and makes us crazy.

Everyone wants love, needs love, thirsts for love. So, when it
shows up, we naturally go running towards it, right?

Or do we?

The two reactions to love.

Your heart does run towards love, like a camel five days in the
desert runs towards water. But that's only one part of the
picture.

The other reaction is from your ego, your personality, your
little self, which hides from love. It curls up, turns away, gets
busy with other things. Why do we do this?

Love does turn everything upside down. In the best case scenario,
Love can totally erase your ego. So your ego gets scared. Really
scared.

Your marketing isn't working because you're trying to make it
do the wrong job.

Marketing's true job is safety.

Imagine you were in that cafe and locked eyes with that stranger.
And then that stranger stood up and approached you. Do you
immediately go riding off into the sunset? Or do you begin to
think: "Wow, this one's a weirdo, or an axe-murderer. Cute, but
am I going to end getting my heart broken?"

Your clients' hearts want love; so fill your heart with love,
caring and compassion. And your clients' egos need safety before
they can receive that love, so fill your marketing with safety.

There is room for love in marketing, but not before the safety.
So how do you create safe marketing? Let's take a look.

Keys to Lovable Safe Marketing

  * Witnessing creates safety.

True witnessing is what creates the most profound safety. If
someone believes that you truly see them and their struggles and
problems, all without judging them, they'll follow you almost
anywhere.

Start your marketing with empathetic statements about the
situation your clients find themselves in, that they are
struggling with. For instance, if you teach parenting classes:

"If you're like most parents, you want to give your children
everything, to parent them so well, but you might feel like
you're really 'blowing it' with them. You're a good person,
with a good heart, and yet you probably feel terrible because
situations with your kids seem to always blow up in your face."

  * Give them hope.

After the witnessing, tell them there is hope. People don't
often respond to hope on it's own, because they don't believe
it. They tend to think: "Oh, you're just blowing smoke up my
nose. If you really knew my situation, you wouldn't be saying
such great things."

Ahhh... but you have started out with witnessing, so the response
to hope means that they are going to believe you, that it's safe
to trust what you're saying.

"Even though it feels impossible, it really doesn't have to be
like this. You can learn to parent in a way that feels good to
you, and actually works with your kids."

  * Don't rush.

Remember that you're still talking to the ego here. The ego
feels safe, and trusts the hope, but may still feel skittish.
Don't just try to hop in the sack with your beautiful stranger.
How about just having a cup of coffee to begin?

Instead of trying to convert your skittish-but-hopeful
prospective client into a buyer, why don't you just let them try
you out with something low-key?

"There's a lot of conflicting information about parenting out
there, and the truth is, there's no one 'right' way. We have
an approach that takes into account who you are, and who your
kids are, without trying to force you to use a script.

"Why don't you take it for a test-drive? Sign up for our
newsletter, download our free guide on 'When your kid says No.'
and see if our approach works for you."

Your beautiful strangers want to trust you and get the help your
business is offering. But, if your marketing is only trying to be
attractive, very few will come around. Yet, if you keep love in
your heart, and let your marketing deliver safety, you might find
yourself with plenty of people willing to risk the equivalent of
a cup of coffee getting to know you.

And once they know you, they just might move into your business
and become clients.

The best to you and your business,

Mark Silver 




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Mark Silver is the author of Unveiling the Heart of Your 
Business: How Money, Marketing and Sales can Deepen Your 
Heart, Heal the World, and Still Add to Your Bottom Line. 
He has helped hundreds of small business owners around 
the globe succeed in business without losing their 
hearts. Get three free chapters of the book online: 
http://www.heartofbusiness.com



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