Hi everyone
I have to jump in also, having had a child who went through a very short phase of being a "biter" when she was about 15 months. I'm certain she began to do it in earnest after having found it an effective and entertaining way to stop another baby (with whom she shared a babysitter) from continuously knocking her over. I think it was a one trial learning sort of thing because the effect of her biting was so immediate and so marvellous (in her eyes). It did become a problem at the babysitter's but it all ended fairly quickly when my daughter bit me when I was holding her and I was so surprised that I very nearly dropped her and did, in fact, put her down quite suddenly. I was lucky that my natural response seemed to be enough for her to stop biting altogether but I certainly empathize with parents of children who aren't contained that easily -- and there's no doubt that trying to explain to a preverbal toddler why she shouldn't bite is not particularly effective.
However, I'm intrigued by the idea that biting one's child is an "effective" way to stop the problem. Any citations for this? To me, it's a disgusting and abusive way to deal with the behaviour. I can only imagine that it simply models biting as a desirable behaviour. It may even teach that biting is something that bigger people do to smaller people - so it's okay to do as long as the person one bites is smaller. I did know a woman who had a "biter" and she tried to bite her child to "teach" her what it felt like. The result? The child bit back, so that mother and child just kept biting one another. Not a pretty picture. At one point, the mother had to stop biting her child because she realized that her own bites were getting so aggressive that she had left a bruise on her child's arm. Effective? Maybe she just wasn't biting the right way?
There's another "solution" to biting that I read in a Parenting book at the same time as my little biter was sinking her teeth into human flesh. (about 14 years ago) The book suggested that the parent take the child's arm and put the child's open mouth over it. Then the parent was to push up on the child's chin so that s/he actually would bite his/her own arm. The purpose of this was supposed to, again, show the toddler what it felt like to be bitten and since the toddler got to inflict the aggression on itself, then it would, of course, realize just how painful the bites were and never do it to another child again. Someone suggested this technique to me to cure my baby of her biting. I could hardly believe it and the image of a parent actually making a child bite itself haunted me for some time.
So...when I read on TIPS the possibility that biting a child is an effective way to deal with the problem, I have to say I felt a little disturbed. Is there truly empirical evidence to support this claim - and if there is, is the technique any more effective than any other method of painful corporal punishment? I think there are a million far more creative and gentle solutions for a toddler biting in a daycare (many of which have been suggested by Tipsters) than having adults bite children.
It's been really interesting reading all these posts.
Betsy Spaulding
Kwantlen University College
British Columbia, Canada
| "J L Edwards" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
06/02/2003 05:48 PM
|
To: "Teaching in the Psychological Sciences" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> cc: Subject: Re: Biting in children |
Hi all:
I'm curious: have any of you ever advised a parent of a biting child to bite
the child in return? If not, why not, given it's "great effectiveness"? Is
it ethical and practical to recommend methods that are not as effective and
which prolong the problem? Is there any generalization from the home to
other situations?
Jean Edwards
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
----- Original Message -----
From: "Donald McBurney" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: "Teaching in the Psychological Sciences" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Sent: Monday, June 02, 2003 12:17 PM
Subject: Re: Biting in children
> For all the same legal and other reasons given for not using lemon juice,
> etc, to discourage biting, the one treatment that has been used by
> generations of mothers with great effectiveness cannot be given either:
Bite
> the kid back.
> don
> Donald McBurney
>
>
>
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