Someone on TIPS had a similar problem a few years ago, and I still remember the response - and have used it. Just say that you feel it's only fair to let her know that you don't think a reference from you would be helpful to her. If she doesn't quite get that, then add that future employers are usually looking for positive remarks and you don't feel that, under the circumstances, you would be able to offer that. It's a little gentler than saying, "Are you kidding? You think, after what you did, I'd ever write anything good about you?" Beth Benoit Granite State College New Hampshire From: David Wasieleski [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Wednesday, November 19, 2008 9:47 AM To: Teaching in the Psychological Sciences (TIPS) Subject: [tips] Reference Problem
Hey all. Today I received an email from someone asking for a reference for a former student of mine who is applying for the job. The emails asks of course for information on her aptitude and work ethic. Without going into all the gory details, this student ended up as a thesis student of mine and actually displayed significant problems with work ethic (e.g., going off to Las Vegas for four days with less than two weeks to get her thesis done to graduate on time, and then expecting me to respond overnight to a draft sent to me). Since her graduation the student asked if I would serve as a reference, and I suggested that given all that had happened, others would serve better as a reference for her. So this email comes as a dismaying surprise. I of course do not plan to respond to it via email but by phone. I don't know that I want to simply state that I don't want to serve as a reference. But clearly this puts me in a bind regarding what to say when I do make that phone call. Has anyone else dealt with similar circumstances? David T. Wasieleski, Ph.D. Professor Department of Psychology and Counseling Valdosta State University Valdosta, GA 31698 229-333-5620 http://chiron.valdosta.edu/dtwasieleski "The only thing that ever made sense in my life is the sound of my little girl laughing through the window on a summer night... Just the sound of my little girl laughing makes me happy just to be alive..." --Everclear "Song from an American Movie" --- To make changes to your subscription contact: Bill Southerly ([EMAIL PROTECTED]) --- To make changes to your subscription contact: Bill Southerly ([EMAIL PROTECTED])
