It is the beginning of the Days of Awe, the Jewish High Holidays of
Rosh Hashonah and Yom Kippur. At synagogue we had special guests from the
community say a few words: the President of Rotary, the head of the Valdosta
Chamber of Commerce, and the President of the University. It was interesting.
All had prepared their comments separately. Yet, all said virtually the same
thing coming from different angles. And, the sameness that I heard them say in
so many different words is this: the quest for of the human heart for meaning
is the heartbeat of community and education, and it is on that adventure which
rests all that we feel, think, and do. And, as I listened to them, I started
feeling that these holidays are about both a story having been written and one
yet to be written, about hope and potential expectations for ourselves and
reflecting how we will achieve all we hope for. On one hand they are an
optimistic celebration of the possible, despite the odds, despite the doubts;
on the other hand, they are a "whoa" check of the need to think things out
before we rush out, of using our energy and inspiration wisely rather than
haphazardly. It's a balancing act of having your head in the clouds while your
feet are planted firmly on the ground, of being both hopeful and careful, of
being both euphoric and sober, and making sure your actions do no harm. Rosh
Hashonah, and Yom Kippur are about free will -- making the conscious decision
to look inside yourself, to look truly at your life, to learn lessons, to admit
to omissions, and to make amends.
You know, as a survivor of both cancer and a massive cerebral
hemorrahage, I always talking of having learned the lesson of living "today"
But, one thing I never said was that the real lesson was to live "in today,"
not "for today." Those two little words, "for" and "in," make for a powerful
difference; they are words of expectation; they are words that drive us to live
our lives in a certain way; they are words of intention; they are ethical and
moralistic words. As I see it, "for today"" means self-gratification, serving
one's self at whatever and whomever's expense. "In today"" means living a life
of high expectation; it means an alertness, awareness, attentiveness, and
otherness all that is around you; it means living a search for meaning and
connection; it means gentleness, sensitivity, reflection, and wonder; it means
living a life of courage in the face of doubt and fear; it means living a life
of optimism
Trust me, living ""in today"" isn't easy. It takes a lot of concerted
time and effort and energy. Maybe that why so many of us just love
distractions although we mouth that we dislike them. Distractions take us away
from the uncomfortable, inconvenient, painful, insecurity, lack of a guarantee.
Living "in today" isn't about being fulfilled, satisfied, or happy all the
time; it isn't about being upbeat all the time. Living "in today" is living
with all that life had to offer in the title of the Clint Eastwood spagetti
western, the good, bad, and ugly. Living "in today" means totally focusing,
deeply concentrating, completely stopping, intently listening, peering into
someone's eyes, paying full attention. Living "in today" demands we confront
ourselves, tackle whatever we feel now, to acknowledge the reality of where we
are in life, with whom we are, and who we are. Living "in today" means not
playing the "perfection game" or the "100% game. To be able to hit all that is
thrown at you, living "in today" must mean every moment is an "Hineni" moment,
an emotionally charged, difficult, and important "here I am" ready, willing,
and able moment. Abraham faced it with Jacob, Jacob faced it with Laban, Moses
faced it with the Burning Bush. We all have our "Hineni" moments. My first
was my epiphany, then the cancer, then that hemorrhage, now impending
retirement in less than three months.
Living "in today" means living with both the fast balls and curve balls
life throws at you. That tough. But, that is a meaningfulness,
purposefulness, fulfillment, significance money cannot buy, that cannot be
quantified. But it can be lived. It's a deep connection, a community, with,
as my President said, of connecting concentric circles: with yourself, with my
Susan, with my Michael and Robby, with Terri and Nicole, with my three
grandmunchkins, with my dear friends, with my colleagues, with members of the
community, with the world. When I am living "in today," I'm not sure I can put
into words, but I know it; I feel it. And, when I'm not "in," as I have been
more than a few times lately, I know it as well.
So, for me, this Rosh Hashonah and Yom Kippur are special. There are
be "hokey pokey," to be all in, to stop being half-hearted, to be wholehearted
about whatever comes my way, to be standing in one place without wishing I was
in another, to turn face to face with myself, to listen fully, and to pay full
attention. This time it is time to say an "hineni" as a conviction, not a
resignation; with high expectation and not regret; to let go of the sadness and
greet the joy; to see the coming dawn rather than the departing twilight. So,
okay, I hear life; I'm living "in today"; I'm here, right here, right now,
focused, undistracted, listening, ready for a recharging, not thinking of being
unplugged, ready to be plugged into something with someone in the here and now.
And, if you think this has nothing to do with teaching, stop and think
about it. I'll give you a clue. Wholeheartedness, the labor of love, the
"hineni,"is an antidote for burnout, for it's the halfhearted things, those
"un-hineni" things, we do that are the laborious things which weigh on us and
wear us out.
Make it a good day
-Louis-
Louis Schmier
http://www.therandomthoughts.edublogs.org
Department of History http://www.therandomthoughts.com
Valdosta State University
Valdosta, Georgia 31698 /\ /\ /\ /\
/\
(O) 229-333-5947 /^\\/ \/ \ /\/\__ / \ /
\
(C) 229-630-0821 / \/ \_ \/ / \/ /\/ / \
/\ \
//\/\/ /\ \__/__/_/\_\/
\_/__\ \
/\"If you want to climb
mountains,\ /\
_ / \ don't practice on mole
hills" - / \_
---
You are currently subscribed to tips as: [email protected].
To unsubscribe click here:
http://fsulist.frostburg.edu/u?id=13090.68da6e6e5325aa33287ff385b70df5d5&n=T&l=tips&o=20485
or send a blank email to
leave-20485-13090.68da6e6e5325aa33287ff385b70df...@fsulist.frostburg.edu
