Yeah, I know I'm being prolific, but with only nine days to go before
it's all done, I feel an effusiveness. This one was triggered by this one
liner I received: "Fuzzy-brained New Agers like you, sir, are a threat to
higher education. That is all I am going to say." Not a very nice
Thanksgiving greeting. Anyway, she said enough. You'd think after having laid
siege to the Ivory Tower, I was moving up the assault towers, hurling boulders
at its battlements with catapults, getting ready to overrun the holy of holies.
I don't know why this professor called me a "a fuzzy-brained New Ager." Maybe
in her mind she's trying to minimize and marginalize me, or trying to turn me
into a lightweight, or telling herself that I should not to be taken seriously.
Whatever her reasons, what she doesn't realize is that when you try to put
someone down, you're really putting yourself down. As far as not being
serious, if she had heard the conversation between me and this student I had
mentioned, seen our tears, and read in the follow-up journal entry, "thank you
for loving me when no one else has. I don't know where I'd be or what I would
have done if you hadn't....." she'd know I am very serious, damn serious, and
that love is serious.
Someone asked me how I seem to stay so cool and let that water just run
off my back. Sometimes it's just not that easy. But, then I think of two
answers, one about "them" and one about me. My quick answer about "them" was,
"I vaguely remembered and looked up the words Shakespeare put into Caesar's
mouth just to make sure I got them right, 'I want the men around me to be fat,
healthy-looking men who sleep at night. That Cassius over there has a lean and
hungry look. He thinks too much. Men like him are dangerous.'"
My "me" answer is a Zen story: there was a Zen master who was called
every name in the book by someone who was angered by his teachings. Knowing
that he had not caused any personal hurt to his assailant, the master calmly
listened and heard him out. He asked the accuser if he ever had guests over
for dinner. The man replied that he did. The master then asked what did he do
with the left over food. The man said he kept it for himself and used it. "So
it is with your abuse," said the Master. "I don't eat what you are serving;
you keep it and eat it."
What, then, are we supposed to do besides not eating what's being
served? Nourish ourselves! Strengthen ourselves! Have a spiritual, mental,
and physical workout program so we can make the climb to great heights! First,
we should understand that disinterest, apathy, love, faith, belief, hope, all
see what they want to see, that they see through the prisms of perception and
preconception. Second, if such a thing as peer pressure exists, why don't we
become advocates of "It is my job" belief, faith, hope and love as much as
others are with "It's not my job" disinterest and apathy. Why meekly and
fearfully submit to them? We can't, nor should we, force anyone to feel, think
or do anything. But, why don't we talk about things we should be talking
about? I know we shouldn't let fear of "what will they see," "what will they
think," "what will they say," "what they will do" cower us, silence us, shackle
us as it so often does on our tenure-focused, safety-seeking, risk-aversion,
and fear ravaged campuses. If we whittle ourselves to suit all those "they,"
we'll soon have nothing left but a useless pile of shavings of ourselves, and
we just won't have much left of our core. And finally, we should, then, be the
sculptors of ourselves; we shouldn't determine our own worth by the criteria of
those "they."
As for me, I do not let someone fit me with their shoes. I am not be
distracted from loving each student just because others don't love what I have
to say and do. I do not feel little merely because someone makes attempts at
belittling me. I am not devalued merely because someone doesn't value what I
do or believe. I do not feel shame just because someone tried to shame me. I
am not frightened even if someone else feels frightened by my words. I do not
feel rejection merely because someone rejects my vision. And, I am still
standing! My value, nobility, sacredness, my authenticity, is not dependent
upon what someone else agrees with, feels safe with, likes. If I did, I would
surrender being in command of the way I live in general and the way I teach in
particular.
So, how do I do that? I do it by having a deeply reflected upon and
articulated "why," a personal vision. I study; I study the latest research
findings in what I call "brainology;" I attend conferences on teaching, listen,
learn, and then go home and"mess around" with. I follow my "word of the day to
live by," my "Teacher's Oath," my "Ten Commandments of Teaching," my "LED," my
"KISS," my "M68ED," and I mediate in a variety of ways throughout the day. I
realized two decades ago that the answer lies in my being, not my doing, that
is, what guides me, what calls me; that everything is gained by daring, and
daring starts within me. To do that, I looked in the mirror and realized
painfully and reluctantly that I had to face and overcome all the barriers
within me: all the anger, all the blame, all the fears, all the
rationalizations, all the safeties, all the self denigrations. It's my being,
not my doing, that keeps my eye on the prize and away from the booby prizes. I
give a damn; I live giving a damn; and, I make not bones about it. I don't
hide it. I don't shut up. I care about each and every student, not what
others think or say of me. I unconditionally believe in, have faith in, have
undying hope for, and I love each student. And, they know it and feel it. I
don't allow any distractions drag me into a numbing abyss and away from my
caring and loving. I will be that guy who is there unconditionally to help
each student help her/himself become the person she or he is capable of
becoming.
A couple of secrets I've discovered: we all have burdens, as the
yiddish saying goes, but we also have shoulders; a deeply reflected upon and
articulated purposeful "why" will overcome anything; how you spend a day is how
you spend your life; you really start living when you stop fearing; your life
is what your feelings and thoughts and actions make it; the more you love, the
stronger you'll be; love has the best chance of making things happen; and,
you'll only discover how much you can be by being much. All this determines
the extent to which you are a practitioner of awareness, aliveness, altertness,
otherness, and mindfulness. All this determines what you see, listen to, feel,
taste, and do. All this determines the extent to which your presence is known
in a caring way. So, love each student unconditionally. Don't just think it;
don't just say it; do it and shout it from highest rooftops! The pains,
inconveniences, discomforts are nothing compared to the miracles that can take
place. Trust me, you'll feel the miracles; you'll feel alive; you'll feel the
significance; you'll feel the exhilaration of being a real, live, genuine,
strong, courageous, unique person, giving yourself a strength, determination,
perseverance, and endurance to refuse to become a mindless, fearful, submissive
automaton.
Remember, to avoid criticism and to say nothing and to do nothing is to
be nothing and to accomplish nothing.
Make it a good day
-Louis-
Louis Schmier
http://www.therandomthoughts.edublogs.org
Department of History http://www.therandomthoughts.com
Valdosta State University
Valdosta, Georgia 31698 /\ /\ /\ /\
/\
(O) 229-333-5947 /^\\/ \/ \ /\/\__ / \ /
\
(C) 229-630-0821 / \/ \_ \/ / \/ /\/ / \
/\ \
//\/\/ /\ \__/__/_/\_\/
\_/__\ \
/\"If you want to climb
mountains,\ /\
_ / \ don't practice on mole
hills" - / \_
---
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