>From Doug Bernstein...
The following list2 is organized in accordance with the
student excuse category system established in 1986 by Martin Schwartz in
his groundbreaking article entitled "An experimental investigation of
bad karma and its relationship to the grades of college students" (Journal of
Polymorphous Perversity, 3, 9-12. This is a real reference, folks; grade-point
average was inversely related to frequency of excuses). Here we go:
Grandparental Death. This old favorite needs no description,
but one professor's class established what must be a world's record when
14 out of 250 students reported their grandmothers dead just before the
final exam.
Friend/Relative Accident/Illness. "I missed the exam because of
my uncle's funeral, and I can't take the make-up test tomorrow because I
just found out my aunt has a brain tumor." "I can't take the test on
Friday because my mother is having a vasectomy."
Automobile Problems. "I'm late for the test because I hit a
toilet in the middle of the road." "I had an accident, the police
impounded my car, and my paper is in the glove compartment."
Animal Trauma. "I can't be at the exam because my cat is having
kittens and I'm her coach." "I don't have my paper done because my
guide dog has a bladder infection and I've been taking her to the vet."
"My paper is late because my sister's dog had to have her puppies
delivered by Caeserian section." "I couldn't be at the exam because I
had to attend the funeral of my girlfriend's dog." "My paper is late
because my parrot crapped into my computer."
Crime Victimization. "I need to take the final early because
the husband of the woman I am seeing is threatening to kill me." "I
can't take the test because some guys upstairs chinned themselves on the
sprinkler pipes, which broke and soaked my apartment. And cross-list
this one with automobile problems: "I missed the exam because someone
stole all my tires."
Other. "I want to reschedule the final because my grandmother
is a nun." "I'm too happy to give my presentation tomorrow." (The
contributor noted: "This was easily fixed.") "I can't finish my paper
because I just found out my girlfriend is a nymphomaniac." "I'm too
depressed to take the exam; I just found my girlfriend in bed with
another man." Note slipped under lab door before an experiment: "I am
unable to come to lab because I don't have time." "I can't take the exam
on Monday because my mom is getting married on Sunday and I'll be too
drunk to drive back to school." Finally, there is the excuse given by
two students who, after sitting next to each other during an exam, were
asked why their answer sheets contained identical responses to different
forms of the test: "We studied together."
Jim Matiya
Too often we underestimate
the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest
compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the
potential to turn a life around...Leo Buscaglia
> From: [email protected]
> To: [email protected]
> CC: [email protected]
> Subject: re: [tips] Student excuses
> Date: Mon, 11 May 2015 19:23:54 -0400
>
> On Mon, 11 May 2015 15:39:01 -0700, Robin Musselman wrote:
> >Talking to a colleague today about student excuses and I mentioned
> >that dead grandmothers have been replaced by.....?
> >I'm fairly certain the substitute was mentioned on this list, but I
> >just
> >can't remember. Anyone who can help me?
>
> I think you might be referring to a Tips thread that Nancy Melucci
> started back in September 2014. Here is a link to a response
> by Miguel Roig on Mail Archive that will put you in the middle of
> the thread (go to the bottom to get links to all of the responses):
> http://www.mail-archive.com/tips%40fsulist.frostburg.edu/msg12144.html
>
> I don't remember if someone/thing (some people get upset if
> their computer dies; I hope we're not in "Her" territory here) has
> replaced grandma/pa but you can examine the thread.
>
> Also, Chris Green posted on Tips a message about the
> best student excuses back in August 2012; see:
> http://www.mail-archive.com/tips%40fsulist.frostburg.edu/msg08531.html
>
> The basis for his post was an article on the "Inside Higher
> Education" website on the "Best Student Excuses":
> https://www.insidehighered.com/news/2012/08/30/british-lecturer-compiles-best-student-excuses
> NOTE: Don't forget to look at the comments below the
> article.
>
> -Mike Palij
> New York University
> [email protected]
>
> P.S. So, I guess most Tipsters are gonna binge view all summer. ;-)
>
>
>
>
>
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