RE: [TMIC] Depression.

[Rod, Karyne & Tyler Jenke]

Dear Grace, I know it doesn't help you much for any of us to tell you that this is normal, it is all to do with the grieving process - can you remember the last time when someone close to you died - you don't just get over these things overnight and you are female- you are probably used to being in control and helping others and now you can't do what you want, when you want and you have to ask others for help. I'm 13 years down the TM track and still have a teary day when things are not going right or my access is blocked for somewhere I want to go either by myself or with family/friends.   What really helped me though was talking to someone when I had breast cancer - the councillor expected to talk about cancer which was a bit of a bonus because I didn't have to listen to the standard cancer talk - and got her thinking about how she was going to help me come to terms with me now and not think about the me before TM. I actually had her in tears when she heard the whole story, which was good 'cause I hate crying alone!   We figured out that one big step was to get my pain under control (with a visit to the pain clinic), then mixing and matching drugs to give me pain relief (MS Contin) along with a light anti-depressant benefit (Amitryptiline) and anti-inflamatories to help with painful joints caused by Lupus etc (Mobilis). I have since also added Neurontin and am regularly reviewed by all and sundry to make sure I am not toxic or o'ding and that I am coping emotionally and checking my skin correctly. My pain Dr is very switched on and I think that helped greatly finding someone who realises its not all in my head and I think after all this time I have excepted that this is the way it is for now, not that I like it but its better than the alternative.   I had lunch today with one of my oldest friends who has just had a  mastectomy after chemo and radiation and is just starting another course of chemo and she admitted to me when she was very sick from chemo that if it wasn't for her boys she probably wouldn't have had treatment as she didn't realise she would become so sick with it all but now can't understand how she could think like that. I truly believe it is very important to have the right mindset to cope with all of this - is there some other Dr you can talk to? and can you confide in your eldest daughter? I  know its not the ideal situation but you have to find some solutions - you sound so miserable and we hate to see you this way.   Love Karyne Gawler, South Australia T8/9 Paraplegic Oct' 92