In a message dated 10/20/2007 4:21:10 PM Eastern Daylight Time,  
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:

to  no longer feeling like being a contributing member of  society


Alton,
 
Don't you recall after first being dx'd w/TM, feeling  out of place in the 
world?  I sure did, still do sometimes.  I cannot  describe myself by the same 
parameters as I did before, therefore, I did not  know where I fit in.  Because 
I had had a long, successful career at making  women feel better than before 
they came to me, and now, in a heartbeat, I could  no longer do that, I didn't 
know what to do, where to go,  etc.
 
I had always easily excelled at whatever I wanted to  do.  Now I could only 
sit in my wheelchair and do nothing, not even shower  myself.
 
I guess everyone has their own viewpoint and have to  learn their own way to 
a different life, but I do not think it' s easy.  My  whole easy life became 
based upon fear and not knowing what the hell to do with  it.  I have too many 
women who write me telling me thank you for looking  out for them...the 
"newbies" so I know the feelings of trying to sort through  all of the new 
feelings 
of inadequacy do truly exist.
 
I'm happy that you did not have to go through the hell  I have gone through 
for the last six years.  When I came into the Club  there was a certain Ohio 
someone who watched my back and pretty much showed me  the ropes.  I will 
forever thank her for helping me.  And, there have  been plenty of others along 
the 
way...including you, sir.  
 
So thank you too and join the rest of the clan.   Every one of you has helped 
me in one way or another over the longest six years  of my life.  That's all 
I was trying to do, got thanked for it...now let's  move on.  Lessons are 
learned every day.
 
I love you all,
Jude



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