The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond
like this?
Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow at Wal-Mart, for my dog
Athena the wonder dog. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if
I had a dog. What did she think -- that I had an elephant?
So since I had
little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and
that
I was starting the Purina Diet again; although I probably shouldn't because I
ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50
pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of
most
of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a
perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina
nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food
is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention
here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my
story.)
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the
dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I had stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish
Setter's ass and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to
have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard! WAL-MART won't let me shop there
anymore!
~Krissy~
We are all in this together, by ourselves.
- Lily Tomlin
~I'm In pretty Good Shape
For the Shape I am in~
