And now my turn. . . My name is Margaret and I live in Edmonton Alberta Canada. I was 40 years old when I was diagnosed in April 2001.
My TM is not nearly as severe or bad as many others. I am one of the walking wounded. I woke up on a Saturday morning and had a dull ache in my right elbow. Carried on through the day only to wake up on Sunday with tingling hands. I went to work at my part time job at a coffee shop and all through the day I kept wringing my hands to try to get the tingling to stop. I didn't think much of it until my boss asked me what was wrong and I told him about the tingling. He was concerned that I may be having a stroke. I laughed it off but it stayed in the back of my mind. So I went home and started searching for answers on the internet. I read about TM and all my symptoms seemed to point to TM with the exception that I hadn't been sick or had a virus for at least the last 4 years. My husband at the time told me that if it was still there on Monday, I needed to see my doctor. Monday morning I awoke and the tingling hands were still there and now my feet were tingling. I went to work and made an appointment to see my family doctor that afternoon. Off to the doctor I went. She was totally dumbfounded and said she would get me in to a Neurologist. She left the office and I figured "Okay, I'll see the Neuro in a few months." When my GP came in she had an appointment for me the next day! Tuesday I woke up and my hands and feet were tingling and now my legs were too. I couldn't hold a pen without having a death grip on it! I could barely write my name because I couldn't feel the pen. I went to work for the morning and then went to the Neuro in the afternoon. She asked many questions, did many coordination tests and pin prick tests and decided that I had either TM or MS. She was going to book me for blood tests and a MRI. She was sure it was TM and told me all the nasty things that I had read . . . that TM is usually a precursor to MS, I would never be 100% again and it was going to get worse. WOW! Un-freaking-believable! How the heck did I get something like this??? Wednesday came and I went to work. I was trying to come to grips with what the doctor told me and I think I was trying to convince myself that she was wrong and that it was just a pinched nerve. All along, I am getting worse. The tingles are crawling their way up my body. When I had to run to catch the bus, I felt like there was this elastic band around my torso tightening itself as if to choke me. Thursday, reality hit with a vengeance and I realized the severity of what I had contracted and what it meant to me and the rest of my life. I spent the day in bed mentally and emotionally exhausted. It really struck home when my husband was standing at the side of the bed and my 90 pound dog was sitting on me and he told her to get off me. I told him she wasn't on me and when I looked I saw she was literally sitting on me and I could not feel her. It was then that I realized just how bad I was. It was also then that I realized I could do one of two things - I could lay there and feel sorry for myself and give in to this thing or I could fight it and get out of bed and try to keep going with all that I had. I got out of bed. Within six weeks it hit the worse and then slowly started to get better. At it's worse, I was numb from the armpits down. My arms were always okay but my hands always tingled. My feet were numb and I had a hard time walking because I couldn't feel what was under them. I had to watch my step so that I would catch the edge of a side walk or curb and end up twisting my ankle. One Sunday I was making a roast and was draining the dripping into a pot when the pan slipped out of my hands and hit the stove. I didn't realize it but I had splashed the hot liquid on my tummy and ended up with a second degree burn. I didn't feel a thing and didn't have a clue what I had done until a 6 inch long blister developed on my tummy the next day! Another realization! I eventually started to see my symptoms get better and over 3 years I "healed" the best that I could and ever would. I still don't have all the feeling in my hands. Because of that I have had to give up needlework like cross stitch. I find it difficult to fasten necklaces or buttons or deal with small things. I still get the tight elastic band feeling if I run or jog. I cannot over do it or get stressed because then I get tired and the tingles hit with a vengeance. I find it hard to walk fast or for long distances without many breaks. When I bend my head and then lift it up, I get the tingles and a wave of nausea. When I do push it and the tingles hit, I get nauseous. My life has changed and I have had to give up many things. But my attitude and my outlook has changed for the better. I don't sweat the small stuff any more. I have more patience. I don't get angry very often where as I did before. And I truly believe that things are never that bad that they can't get worse. So why get stressed over it. I do live every day to its fullest and enjoy every moment. I refuse to be unhappy. Life is too short and you just don't know what tomorrow will bring. I am not religious so I do not pray. I have learned to deal with what life has given me and be a better person for it. My neuro still doesn't know what caused it and I don't think we ever will. She was adamant that I should have had a viral thing in order to contract it. All I could tell her was that I had a flu shot 5 months before. She did not feel that was what caused it. I can walk and I can do almost everything I did before I contracted TM. My case is not severe and for that I am happy. The people here are great and will offer you their support. You may find that you have things in common with some of them and you will learn from them. They will accept you for who you are. They are always there for you. They are your TM family. We all welcome you. Sorry for being so long winded! Margaret
