Finding out that our good friends are really  not interested in us when we have 
a life-changing illness is painful, but
it sure makes the good friends that stick around look good!     Also the new 
ones that never knew us before TM.
               janice
  ----- Original Message ----- 
  From: jrushton 
  To: [email protected] ; tmic 
  Sent: Sunday, August 02, 2009 9:34 AM
  Subject: Re: [TMIC] Friendships


               I am so sorry about your 'friend, Lynn.  It really is a sad 
thing when this happens and as we're finding out, it happens a lot.  The good 
thing is that we don't have to regret what we did.  Sadly, we lose someone that 
we thought would be in our lives forever.  As we have grown older, I find that 
I have real friends and most now are right here on this site.  I love my 
nursing friends dearly and some would be here in an instant if I needed them 
but they are busy with their jobs and own lives so I don't 'bother' them with 
chatting like I do with you.  So many of them are on Facebook so we chat and 
laugh back and forth but I do realize that their lives did not come to a halt 
when I was 'hit' with TM.  I know they still love me.  If they get too smart 
with me, I'll just make them another nice Jello mold with a dead frog in it! 
(another story :)

              Seriously, I feel sad for you and the others that had this same 
type of thing happen.  I care for you all.  Each in your own special way and if 
we were to meet face to face it would be like we've known each other for years, 
I think.

              And the wheelchair??  Wow!  People are wonderful, especially at 
the airport!  

              Hugs for all...Jeanne

              -------Original Message-------

              From: [email protected]
              Date: 7/24/2009 12:04:49 PM
              To: [email protected];  [email protected];  
[email protected]
              Subject: Re: [TMIC] Friendships

              Well....I guess since I resubscribed to the list recently....
              I may as well weigh in on this one.
              Pre TM my best friend had to have wrist replacements on
              both of her arms.....one at a time.   Her surgery was performed
              two hours from home.  So....  I drove her there, spent the night
              in a motel, drove her home after surgery.....all at my own 
expense.
              She couldn't even open a can of soda
              so I loosened the jars in her fridge, did her laundry, cooked for 
her, cleaned her
              house, stripped her bed, etc., etc. and took care of her 12 
Australian
              puppies on a daily basis for approx. 6 weeks......I did all of 
that
              twice since only one wrist could be replaced at a time.  Her 
healing time
              took about six weeks.
              I also did her grocery shopping and put everything away for her.
              And....I paid for the groceries because she was totally broke.
              Eventually I left the state of California and moved to Nevada....
              then....D-Day came for me and I was paralyzed by TM.
              She came up here to visit me once......borrowed $3,000. from me...
              a year later she sent me a Christmas card with a check for $500.
              enclosed......and I haven't heard a word from her since.
              She stopped returning my calls which I don't understand because
              I never once pressed her for the money.  I figured when she had it
              she would pay me back.  Guess not.
              I learned a good lesson from her..... now if someone wants to 
"borrow"
              money from me I don't "lend" it to them.....I GIVE it to them 
with no
              expectations of getting paid back.  And if I don't have it to 
loan,
              I just say "Sorry...don't have it."

              I've made some really good friends since TM.....people that 
really care...
              they treat me like gold so I feel very fortunate and don't miss my
              "best" friend at all any more.

              I'm amazed at the people in Reno...... whenever Bill takes me 
anywhere
              he has to take me in the wheelchair.....people always open doors 
for us...
              had to testify at the court house one day and the security guard 
came
              down the stairs, gave me his hand, and walked me up the steps.....
              these things happen every time I go out.  No one has ever been 
cold and
              uncaring in my 12 years with TM.
              Maybe all of you should just move to Reno....!  :-)
                 Love,  Lynn


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