In the beginning, TM had stolen my independence. I fought very hard to gain back as much as possible and can now go out and shop, drive, walk out in my own yard, go to the theater, with my walker and friends to help me, etc. Of course, this is done with planning, usually for short periods of time, using a cane or walker, being very careful not to fall. Also, when I am out in public, I feel people see my cane – not me. Although, sometimes it works to my advantage in that people open doors for me, stand aside to let me pass, etc.
Yes, I get frustrated at trying to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and dealing with weak legs and balance issues. Also, not having control of my bladder at night – love Depends. But I use my walker and head out. Of course, this is with the watchful eye of my hubby, my rock. I tried getting off of Zoloft – feeling that I was doing really well and didn’t need it. Silly me – on the 2nd day I was quiet, on the 3rd day-I just collapsed, crying, in my hubby’s arms and he gently suggested I get back on Zoloft. I think I felt more intensely what was debilitating about my body, physically, and was just unable to see past what all I had accomplished – I just saw the change in my life and didn’t want to cope. I take a low dose of Zoloft, but it will be a while before I try going off again. I thank God every day knowing that others have it so much worse than I do. Once in a while when I feel the nerve pain in my calves when I walk or in my back, I may have an “off” day, but for the most part, I think I have adjusted to my new life of the last 6 years. Sorry for the length of this, but, after all, isn’t this why we have this website? Love you guys, Janice From: [email protected] Sent: Friday, January 25, 2013 9:32 PM To: [email protected] Cc: [email protected] Subject: [TMIC] Tonight, Today, Tomorrow Hi everybody, Tonight, sitting here doing nothing, I'm wondering how Transverse Myelitis has affected your life. What has it stolen from you. Maybe everything, maybe nothing. I'm sure it is a personal thing. Some people choose to focus on life and believe that everything in life happens for a reason. I love life and refuse to let TM steal one minute. Life is made up of many joyous moments and I choose to focus on those moments, not TM. Because of my love for life, I refuse to feel sorry for myself. I've learned to be outspoken about my TM and I've become a demanding person because of TM. I hate that I've had to give up driving and remember how it used to feel heading down the highway with my arm resting on the window turned all the way down. Always remember that today could be potentially the best day of your life. Never take today for granted. When you wake up each morning remember to thank God for giving you another day. Always end the day with a positive thought. No matter how hard thing were, Tomorrow is a fresh opportunity to make it better. (unknown)
