For the benefit of future lurkers, it was only necessary to give the server a static address. My clients seem to be able to connect just fine. This seems to replace all the functionality of Samba.

Since I have the same username and passwords on all machines, I log into my home directory on the server and then am able to go into the whole filesystem and access all mounted USB drives in media.

Samba then becomes completely unnecessary.

https://thehackernews.com/2017/05/samba-rce-exploit.html

This was an "ask a question, listen to the answers, RTFM/STFW, and less than 24 hours later it's done" project for my illustrious self, who has never taken a single professional college level IT class or been employed in IT at any higher level than "John says Mary says Susan says George knows a computer dude name Heather who doesn't cost much and might work for a bag or two of zucchini"

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