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Tonight i havent felt like tromming at all. But i was bored and started RI...
For almost two hours i guess my thoughts circled around school, work, how to apply for a new job, how to answer unpleasent questions about my past, thoughts about that i must play in order to get a job and i dont want to play these games....exhausting... Then my first cognition was accompanied by music. It sang :"Lets play...master and servant.." Both, the master and the slave are in a trap. both get sick. both roles are not worth it. i dont want neither of them. nice relieve. Then RI the second round: As i created visio of persons i suddenly lost the compulsion to offer them communication. i let them communicate something to me. at first i couldnt believe it. then i practiced a little more. i only imagined them and let them say what "they" had so say. no urge to react on their comm. The final cognition was: I am not forced to react on any given importance offered by others I know that this is easy to say while sitting quietly at home and i might be "activated" by others during everyday life. but so what :-) i win in every session and wonder how my state can possibly improve the next day but it does. I have some sort of smile on my face. Alex
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