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Hi Colleen,
Sounds like you are really having fun.
Keep on TROMmoing, Paul
On Mar 22, 2014, at 11:46 AM, Colleen K. Peltomaa wrote:
Hello, Paul,
Yes, it is beautiful the way the two processes work for a being.
Negative gain balanced with positive gain. The only fault is mine
in not consistently doing both. I'll go along good for a few days,
then get complacent in the work because I'm so keyed out, and allow
myself to get caught up with other interests (read "importances").
That of course is an open invitation to get keyed in (the next
layer of the onion dramatizing itself). This is also due to being
one of those "repressed/inhibited" cases that Dennis refers to -- I
just don't see it coming and so do not deal with it until my TA
gets really jacked up.
The key-in however is good in that the misery forces me to get back
to doing the work, which always results in a very nice key-out.
There is case gain, a letting go of prior importances which is
nothing but miraculous, considering that I've lived with these ways
of being unconsciously most of my life. They just seem normal
until I'm forced to finally confront them. When I'm keyed out
(cheerful) I seem to become delusional about my remaining case.
Mary Freeman says the formula for delusion is "to fall on your
head", which is what always happens.
So, now I see this pattern of doing, then not doing the clearing
work. It's very spotty and of course I love beating myself up for
being complacent and slacking off.
To handle this, yesterday I assigned the condition of confusion,
followed the formula and went all the way up to enemy and saw from
the awareness of awareness viewpoint. "Find out who you really
are". That lasted a few hours until the next key-in (another stuck
importance). Have to admit I did not take the ethics cycle beyond
Enemy, which was silly. Not even sure if confusion was the lowest
of my condition, but I don't really know the formulas for anything
below confusion. At this point I will proceed with the next higher
condition, Doubt, adapting the formula.
Now, I'm beginning to understand why early Christian devotees would
flagellate themselves. But you said it best:
Yes, we have created the only thing that can
possibly hold back consciousness, we have
created our own personal mind. Only God is
capable of holding God back with his creation
of his own personal mind.
Colleen
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