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Hello, Paul,
Yes, it is beautiful the way the two processes work for a being. Negative
gain balanced with positive gain. The only fault is mine in not
consistently doing both. I'll go along good for a few days, then get
complacent in the work because I'm so keyed out, and allow myself to get
caught up with other interests (read "importances"). That of course is an
open invitation to get keyed in (the next layer of the onion dramatizing
itself). This is also due to being one of those "repressed/inhibited"
cases that Dennis refers to -- I just don't see it coming and so do not
deal with it until my TA gets really jacked up.
The key-in however is good in that the misery forces me to get back to
doing the work, which always results in a very nice key-out. There is case
gain, a letting go of prior importances which is nothing but miraculous,
considering that I've lived with these ways of being unconsciously most of
my life. They just seem normal until I'm forced to finally confront them.
When I'm keyed out (cheerful) I seem to become delusional about my
remaining case. Mary Freeman says the formula for delusion is "to fall on
your head", which is what always happens.
So, now I see this pattern of doing, then not doing the clearing work.
It's very spotty and of course I love beating myself up for being
complacent and slacking off.
To handle this, yesterday I assigned the condition of confusion, followed
the formula and went all the way up to enemy and saw from the awareness of
awareness viewpoint. "Find out who you really are". That lasted a few
hours until the next key-in (another stuck importance). Have to admit I
did not take the ethics cycle beyond Enemy, which was silly. Not even sure
if confusion was the lowest of my condition, but I don't really know the
formulas for anything below confusion. At this point I will proceed with
the next higher condition, Doubt, adapting the formula.
Now, I'm beginning to understand why early Christian devotees would
flagellate themselves. But you said it best:
Yes, we have created the only thing that can
possibly hold back consciousness, we have
created our own personal mind. Only God is
capable of holding God back with his creation
of his own personal mind.
Colleen
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