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While this message was posted long ago (1995) to this list, I think it is useful to make a comment on it. (A good reason for having the replays!)
When thoughts arise you have a choice. Your choice is to breathe life into them or let them go. When we grab onto a thought it is because we think it is IMPORTANT. One way to give yourself a nice break is to STOP grabbing onto and enlivening our thoughts. "I had a lot of cognitions about decisions that I had made that had shaped this situation, but since I didn't have any idea how to unmake those decisions today it was even more painful to see this because now I know that I can't entirely blame the problem on somebody else. I certainly can charge the people around me in being complicit, in enabling my behavior, but I can't say that they generated it." How do you unmake a decision? One way is to look at that decision and recognize that it doesn't serve you and just drop it. A decision has to be kept in place, if you no longer believe it to be true it will unmock. You give life to your postulates. If no life is embued into a postulate it will fizzle into nothingness. Giving importance to a postulate gives life to it. Why give life to things which make you suffer? " TROM certainly did not make me feel better after I had finished doing it, but TROM doesn't seem to be about feeling good. It may have helped me actually recognize some of my responsibility in creating this situation, recognize that I really did bring in some awful postulates, but right now I don't see any real answer as to undoing the effects that those postulates have had on the people around me and on my situation. In fact, I've seen how those postulates have shaped the situation around me in such a way to confirm them -- maybe I could free ~myself~ from them but I don't see how to eliminate the effect that they've had on my situation, and how to keep them from diffusing back into me from my situation." TROM does make you feel good. It may be unpleasant while you are handling something, but after you handle it you should feel better. As to undoing the effect of a postulate. Well, I don't know if you see that ph18 is making a postulate right there. He's postulated that he cannot undo the effects of his postulates. Yikes, talk about digging your grave even deeper! One thing I have become very aware of is the need to keep a close eye on what postulates/thoughts I am operating on. It is quite easy to let thoughts like he is having go uninspected and just go with them. Doing that winds you up in a mess. And that mess is solely your own doing. You have postulated yourself into being stuck. Change your beliefs -- change your world. Believe all is well and reality will oblige. Believe all is a hell and reality will also oblige. There is a pretty cool video by Benhito Massara that you might find useful in this regard: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3rBwMaD7Ig&list=PLLkd4GUWldW3yACDzZZerw6KHx nLMzYsu&index=1 Keep TROMing, Love, Brian Smith _____ From: The Resolution of Mind list [mailto:[email protected]] Sent: Friday, September 18, 2015 2:32 PM To: [email protected] Subject: [TROM1] TROM: Replay B8 From : [email protected] 236/174.10 Wed 29 Mar 95 13:50 To : [email protected] Thu 30 Mar 95 06:39 Subj : Re: RI ÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄÄ ÄÄÄÄ Apparently-to: [email protected] From: [email protected] Subject: Re: RI In reply to message <Pine.SUN.3.91.950329103613.28510F-100000@math> : Well, I was having a really bad persistent PT problem the other day that had really gotten out of hand. I was real upset so I decided to go take a walk in the woods, and I thought well, I really feel like I have a havingness problem so why don't I do some RI. I tried to create some things but I was too agitated for that to work, so I grabbed onto a granite bridge and just meditated on how solid it was, and I could just feel all of these statements coming into my mind I am solid I am important I can create importances I don't need external importances in between these bursts I'd start to think about my problem and I would feel bad and I would go back to thinking about the solidity of the granite. Then I'd get a bunch of thoughts about the granite and the RI, these kept welling up and the granite just felt so smooth. cool, solid, almost sensously. After a while I felt quite a bit better so I tried some creative RI and nothing really happened. So then I thought, now that I have done some RI, why don't I timebreak the incident that I'm upset about, so I did that, felt a very weak sense of resolution, then I tried to break some related incidents, and really quickly I felt that I just couldn't find any more incidents. So I figured I would do some creative RI to finish off. So I tried doing that, and I got frustrated with it really quickly. I thought, gee, I guess the frustration is a change so that I should keep doing this until there is no more change. Well, the frustration got worse and worse and I felt really awful that I was sitting here running RI to no effect while I should be back at the office. Then it occurred to me that I didn't think that creating importances, being able to assign importances was very important and I felt really good, visual field brightened, all that stuff -- I ran a little more and no changes so I went back to the office. Well, after I got there I quickly got overwhelmed by this PT problem and actually broke down and cried a few times. I talked to my office mates about it and tried to grade papers but I was too agitated to do it so I went home and listened to music and cried for maybe another two hours. Then I went to bed, tossed and turned for quite a while and had what seemed to be one solid hour of sleep with bad dreams and got up. Well, I might as well tell you what the problem actually is. Ever since I've come to Cornell I have been very afraid to talk to professors who I am interested in working with. Now, from my communications with my committee and with other students, other professors I got the idea that getting into a research group was a matter of 1) make a formal commitment to a group and get funding 2) then talk about physics In fact, I pretty much felt that I wasn't allowed to talk about physics, that I couldn't talk about physics to a professor until I had the money situation squared away. So all of my conversations with professors were about money and none of them were about physics. Now none of them would tell me that they were not going to take me, but they would either tell me that they don't know about their funding situation or that they don't know much about me; I would get one or another kind of maybe, with an additional professor who just plain lied about what formal procedure I am supposed to go through. Well so I have put off talking to professors until the deadline to get a summer research project starts creeping up and I am just getting all of this maybe and all I want is some certainty that I indeed can stop thinking about money and start thinking about physics. Some certainty that I can eat this summer, cause I do think that I need to eat in order to do physics. So finally one professor actually confronted me with the fact that I was talking about money all the time and not talking about physics, and I think he was really doing me a favor but this really put me into a spin because I was in this situation where I feel so much pressure to get funded that it's just impossible for me to read some papers and come back and be enthusiastic just to get a ~chance~ at the ~possibility~ of being able to do a research project. So that's when I was just too agitated to work and decided to go for a walk. Well, although I felt very good while timebreaking and at the tail end of doing RI, doing the TROM didn't seem to help my emotional state at all afterwards. I had a lot of cognitions about decisions that I had made that had shaped this situation, but since I didn't have any idea how to unmake those decisions today it was even more painful to see this because now I know that I can't entirely blame the problem on somebody else. I certainly can charge the people around me in being complicit, in enabling my behavior, but I can't say that they generated it. In fact afterwards I started getting very bizzare ideas on how to deal with the situation. Such as, feeling that they had taken my "life" away by making it impossible for me to do physics it would be OK for me to go get a gun and do the same to one of them. This idea had gotten pretty solid for me, but now that Pataki in NY likes the death penalty (I figured that I could do theoretical physics in jail more easily than I could in a university) this didn't seem like a good idea. So the next morning I actually did begin talking to people in my department and I did articulate my concern and my need to resolve this situation somehow to a professor on my committee, so I hope that I can take some steps to get through this communication barrier. Now I don't really know where my using TROM before and during this whole situation has affected me. TROM certainly did not make me feel better after I had finished doing it, but TROM doesn't seem to be about feeling good. It may have helped me actually recognize some of my responsibility in creating this situation, recognize that I really did bring in some awful postulates, but right now I don't see any real answer as to undoing the effects that those postulates have had on the people around me and on my situation. In fact, I've seen how those postulates have shaped the situation around me in such a way to confirm them -- maybe I could free ~myself~ from them but I don't see how to eliminate the effect that they've had on my situation, and how to keep them from diffusing back into me from my situation.
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