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Hi Vorb,
interesting account. Please find below some remarks interspersed into
your text.
I just finished another 50 hours of TROM auditing, so it's time to
report it :)
You can read my previous reports here:
100 hours:
http://lists.newciv.org/pipermail/trom/2016-March/005194.html
150 hours:
http://lists.newciv.org/pipermail/trom/2016-August/005376.html
200 hours: http://lists.newciv.org/pipermail/trom/2016-November/005538.
html
When doing TROM, it seems that every 20-30 hours there is a change of
auditing characteristics in my case. So this 50 hours can also be
broken
into 2 different parts. I will write a definite time, but these things
start to happen unnoticed by me, and go into full effect in 5-10 hours.
TROM From 200 - 225 hours
First of all I'm still yawning like crazy, about 80-90% of the time.
Almost immediately after I wrote my last report, there was a change.
What I was doing was level 5, put the postulates into the wall,
Vorb, you say "postulates" (plural). If you talking about more than one
line in the PFCC (Postulate Failure Cycle Chart) then this is correct.
But if you mean only one particular line of the chart then it makes no
sense to put _all_ the involved postulates into the wall or wherever.
You should strictly distinguish those both postulates involved in any
single line of the chart: One is the postulate you make (that's the
class
of SELF) and the other one is your opponent's postulate (that's the
class
of NOT SELF respectively the class of OTHER). Dennis' suggests to put
the
OTHER's postulate into the wall or into any location which is not your
location. This is a trick to make it easier for you to not mix up the
postulate at your side with the postulate at the OTHER's side. Therefore
you would only place the OTHER's postulate in the wall - or wherever.
While you make your own postulate right where _you_ are - just as you
would
do in real life. You should keep them strictly apart from each other.
Apart in terms of location and as well in regard of ownership.
I refer you to Dennis' tape where he explains step by step how to go
through the chart (the first four chart-lines).
wait until events show up, then immediately drop down to level 2 and
timebreak them, but in this period I could no longer timebreak events.
Whenever and event showed up, and I tried to timebreak it, the yawning
stopped and soon I wandered away. So after many hours I completely
given
up on trying to timebreak. I was just running level 5, put out some
postulates, and just see the myriad of events/faces/sounds that come
one after the other.
Ok, and all those things that show up, be it images, feelings, emotions
should be timebroken.
This kept my yawning the whole time. Interesting
to note, that those events were not necessary the contents of my
memory.
An example: I'm running the I must know leg,
This would be four lines of the chart. The Leg is #3, the lines are:
3A, 3B, 4A, 4B. Right?
and just imagine situations
when I am saying to somebody: Why don't you tell me, in different tones
(like saying it angrily, sadly, etc). So oftentimes I was just
imagining
situations, but the yawning was just coming, so I continued. Of course
I also run a lot of memories of mine.
To be sure: Do you actively "imagine situations" or make up that
inner dialogues here? Or do they kind of pop-up while you hold the both
postulates in suspension?
Please keep in mind that L5 is about postulates only. You do not run
incidents
or mock up things knowingly. This might be unusual compared to other
auditing
styles. Again I refer you to the L5 tape. Certainly, when something
comes
up, anything that the bank might hand you out, you would time brake it
bit
by
bit; or as a whole - if you up to it. But that is quite different from
what
you do when you mock something up or make deliberately contact to e.g.
an
engram or whatever it may be on your track. I'm only mentioning this to
be
sure we know what we're talking about.
TROM from 225-250 hours (and still going on)
I got angry in sessions, but I was still yawning. This was the worst.
In the last 2 months I managed to increase my daily TROM time from
1 hour/day to 2 hours/day. Well, I had to give that up. Feeling the
anger for 1 hour totally depleted me emotionally.
I started to yell
and shout during sessions, just to release that energy somehow.
What about RI? Ok, subjective RI does not work well with some people.
It's a limited process. Perhaps you simply try with havingness which
involves physical action. E.g. take a walk, run, any other sport, clean
your
home, hug trees, ...
Interesting that any person I was running I got angry with him/her.
Do not expect that there is logic in the reactive mind. It will
fall apart sooner or later.
The need to timebreak returned and it worked again. Hell there was
an event I was timebreaking for almost 3 hours, which brings me
to another change: perception. I just noticed that all the time
before, I wasn't viewing the events from my viewpoint but from an
exterior point. As soon as I started to view the event from how
I actually saw it, the yawning and the anger go much stronger.
Also perceptions got better, seeing more details, actually hearing
people
smelling odors returned to me.
Great!
I don't claim to have photographic
memory, I'm very far from there, but when I timebreak and event, after
some time there may come an increase in perception, which forces more
yawning and more anger. So I have to repeat timebreaking as many
times as new perceptions come in.
My auditor says, that this is very good. My ability to confront
increases
so my reactive mind now throws up the next emotional level after
boredom
which is anger. So next should come fear, terror and then sadness and
so
on. I'm traveling down the tone scale. I never thought about it that
way.
I agree only so far with the above, as within a short period of time
e.g.
inside a session a drop in tone is acceptable. Those minus emotions
mentioned
above can and will certainly occur occasionally. But if such a decline
down-
scale happens over a period of sessions there is something terribly
wrong.
Antagonism (2.0) is actually high relative to society's tone. It
represents
the pivot point on the scale. Below a being goes towards succumb, above
towards survival.
That's about it for now.
Since I moved back to 1 hour/day my next 50 hours will probably take
2-3
months to complete, unless I learn to confront anger more.
Any comments / advices are welcome!
Until then, happy tromming everybody:
The Vorb
Best wishes
Robin
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