----- Original Message ----- From: "Jonathan Hughes" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "Lance Muir" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: April 21, 2005 08:10 Subject: Caroline's Blog
> > April 21, 2005 > > > Hell > > Jesus spoke more about hell than anyone else in the bible....or did he? > > The word "hell" occurs 15 times in my NIV bible , 13 of those times in > Jesus' sermons. Jesus' audience, first century Jews, did not have the > same concept of hell - a hellish place of fire and brimstone, eternal > damnation and eternal conscious punishment - as we do. They believed > that people went to Gehenna when they died and there their souls are > purged and purified before they enter heaven. Gehenna is the word Jesus > used and the word that got translated as "hell" in our bibles. > > My pastor once told us of the time his 9 year old son went to camp. > After one week, they got back a dirt encrusted stranger. They ran a hot > bath and scrubbed and washed and scrubbed and washed until something > recognizable emerged. "Ah, there you are my son!" he exclaimed. > > Now that I know Judaism does not have a concept of hell and other places > of eternal damnation, I can picture a different ending for the people > who bloated up and died of snake venom near Edom or who puked their guts > out and died while eating quail at Kibroth Hattaavah. > > I think they all ended up in Gehenna where the LORD tossed them into hot > steam rooms until they started to sweat toxins. Then He thrashed them > thoroughly with hyssop and birch branches and steamed them even some > more. Then He pushed up His sleeves and pounded and kneaded, stretched > and folded them into artistic pretzel and origami shapes to loosen them > up. Then He slapped them face down on thin mats and commanded His angels > to walk all over them. Many a hardened sinner has turned white as a > ghost and muttered, "Oh dear G_d" when they saw the size of the angel > coming purposefully toward them. > > God would walk around, supervising and nodding approval and has been > known to pounce on an unsuspecting sinner, wrenching his neck around and > cracking 15 or 16 vertebrae into position and moving on before the > victim can let out a scream. Meanwhile, his angel would continue to walk > up and down nonchalantly as if this was a very common occurrence. > > Then the sinners are tossed into vats of hot water and long, drawn out > groans would echo around the room. Aaaaahhhhhh!!! Ooooooohhhhh!! and > Ooooooooooo. They would alternate between soaking limply and blasting > through energetic wash-and-spin cycles which involved all sorts of > detergents, soaps and shampoos. The light-hearted work songs of the > angels running the water and soap systems added to the surrealness of > the whole experience. > > Finally, God dips them in a cool water rinse, flips them inside out, > wrings out their innards, snaps them right way up with a practiced flick > of His wrists and stands them on their feet. And then He says with > absolute delight, "Ah, there you are, my children!" > ---------- "Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer every man." (Colossians 4:6) http://www.InnGlory.org If you do not want to receive posts from this list, send an email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] and you will be unsubscribed. If you have a friend who wants to join, tell him to send an e-mail to [EMAIL PROTECTED] and he will be subscribed.
