The Remote Patrol for January 9-11, 2009
by Thomas Allen Heald, along with Dan Rydell
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings

TOM'S TWISTED TOTALLY TRIVIAL TV THINGY
On which show would it be easy to play "Where's Waldo?"?
A) "It's Your Move"
B) "The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo"
C) "Punky Brewster"
D) "Voyagers"
E) "We've Got it Made"

Monday brings the right answer, and the return of the guy with no navel.
---

8 p.m.
"EVERYBODY HATES CHRIS" (CW) endures a blackout. Yes. Shut up.

TELE-GEBRA
"Punk'd" + "American Idol" = "HOWIE DO IT" (NBC).

9 p.m.
Wraith v. Earth in a celebrity deathmatch on "STARGATE ATLANTIS:SPECIAL 
CANCELLATION UNIT" (Sci Fi).

A witness being protected is kidnapped on "FLASHPOINT"(CBS). Woops!

The last bit of color has worn off this series, which calls it quits as 
Wendy (Brooke Shields), Nico (Kim Raver) and Victory (Lindsay Price) 
discover that the only way out is down.

Wraith v. Earth in a celebrity deathmatch on ""LIPSTICK JUNGLE:SPECIAL 
CANCELLATION UNIT" (NBC).

9 p.m.
The good news: Steve Zahn is playing the half-brother of "MONK" (USA). 
The escaping from prison accused of a crime he did not commit would be 
the lesser news.

10 p.m.
A sea lion is deep-sea-sixed on "PSYCH" (USA).

SYNDICATED
Given that Ben Lyons liked "Bedtime Stories" and "The Curious Case of 
Benjamin Button" can you imagine what's on his *worst* movies of 2008 list?

NIGHT LIGHTS
* Tavis continues to mow Berry Gordy's lawn.
* David has just 4 minutes to save the world with Kiefer Sutherland and 
Wendy Liebman.
* Jay bonds with Daniel Craig, Taraji P. Henson, and Eagles of Death Metal.
* Jimmy fries up Michael Imperioli, Jason Mesnick, and the Zac Brown Band.
* Craig waits and waits, but Paula Poundstone doesn't tell him.

SATURDAY
6:45 p.m.
Jeff Foxworthy, Ron White, Bill Engvall and Larry the Cable Guy reunite 
sans the copywritten umbrella title on "JUST FOR LAUGHS: WORKING CLASS 
COMEDY" (CMT).

7:30 p.m.
Cat and bird face off in the "NFL '09: NATIONAL FOOTBALL CONFERENCE 
DIVISION PLAYOFFS" (Fox).

8 p.m.
"DANGEROUS ENCOUNTERS WITH BRADY BARR"  (National Geographic) annoys 
crocodiles, after while.

9 p.m.
Jason Priestley, Teri Polo and Cheech Marin are "EXPECTING A MIRACLE" 
(Hallmark) south of the border.

10 p.m.
Martha Wainwright, Mickey Rourke, and Jessica Biel wrestle with "GRAHAM 
NORTON's" (BBC America) conscience.

A Bronx woman gets two-faced (ala the Batman comics) with liquid lye in 
"CRAZY LOVE" (Sundance).

NIGHT LIGHTS
Neil Patrick Harris fearlessly plays doctor with Taylor Swift on 
"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" (NBC).

SUNDAY
8 p.m.
Movies you haven't seen compete at "THE 66TH ANNUAL GOLDEN GLOBE AWARDS" 
(NBC).

"THE DRAGON CHRONICLES" (PBS) admits they don't really exist.

PRETEND IT'S SWEEPS
"Dancer With the Stars" Cheryl Burke guests on "EXTREME MAKEOVER: HOME 
EDITION (ABC).

Tony Almeida, who died (we thought) on "Day 5 7-8 p.m." is alive again 
on "24: DAY 7: 8:00 AM - 10:00 AM" (Fox).

TELE-GEBRA
"Quantum Leap + "Pride and Prejudice" = "LOST IN AUSTEN" (Ovation).

9 p.m.
Love triangulates on "TESS OF THE D'URBERVILLES" (PBS).

10 p.m.
If you can't say anything nice: "DANE COOK: ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES" 
(Comedy Central).

Idiot boyfriends are charm schooled at "TOOL ACADEMY" (VH1).

11 p.m.
#11: Muffet the dagget wanted too much money ... on "BATTLESTAR 
GALACTICA: THE TOP 10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW" (Sci Fi).

===
TTTTTT ANSWER
On the very first episode (aired) of the "Flintstones" ...
A) Fred and Barney lie to their wives so they can go bowling.
B) Fred and Barney meet the Great Gazoo.
C) Fred starts work at the quarry.
D) Fred is elected Grand Poobah at the Loyal Order of Water Buffaloes 
Lodge No. 26.
E) Fred has to be kept awake all night thanks to a rare disease.

But the conversation doesn't end here, add your own suggestions or 
discuss mine on the "TV or Not TV" Google list. "The Remote Patrol" is 
copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear Projection, Ltd.



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