The Oscar Weekend Remote Patrol by Thomas Allen Heald All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings
TOM'S TOTALLY TWISTED TV TRIVIA THINGY Whom did the man ultimately known as "Remington Steele" claim he worked for when he first met private detective Laura Holt? A) The CIA B) The Culper Ring C) The government of South Africa D) The Secret Service E) Scotland Yard Monday brings the correct answer and Conan's Comedy Classics. --- FRIDAY 8 p.m. TELE-GEBRA "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" - "Deal Or No Deal" = "MISTRESSES" (BBC America) AKA an all Carrie edition of "Sex and the City." girls. The Scoobies track down a mystery in an abandoned factory on "TERMINATOR: THE SARAH CONNOR CHRONICLES" (Fox) as Catherine, the evil robot wearing the rubber human mask closes in on them. Jinkies! 9 p.m. The new QB may not enjoy the hazing on "FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS" (NBC) but at least he's not the jock accused of being someone's baby-daddy. 9 p.m. Someone who survives being executed wins $66,666 on "13: FEAR IS REAL" (CW). (If only the show had been properly executed.) Echo hunts bunnymen while Agent Ballard tracks down the truth about Nora Helmer's past in the "DOLLHOUSE" (Fox) "MONK" (USA) checks out for the season, but not before checking out why the parking garage where his wife was murdered is up for demolition. Pserial killers Psersue Gus and Pshawn on "PSYCH" (USA). TALK SHOW DEATHMATCH * Tina Brown, David Frum, and some journalist you've never heard of spend "Real Time" with Bill "buy my DVD" Maher. * Tavis is folksy with Joan Baez. * Dave questions Barbara Walters, Mike Birbiglia, and Shemekia Copeland. * Jay views Meredith Vieira, Tom Papa, and Chris Isaak. * Jimmy queries Dev Patel, Robin Roberts, and Kinky. * The White Stripes help Conan bid adieu to his timeslot. * Craig shoots Koosh-balls at Rosie O'Donnell and the Knux. TONIGHT'S WINNER: Conan. 2 a.m. Susan Hayward wants to live in "I WANT TO LIVE!" (TCM). SATURDAY 5 p.m. The goth kids who wouldn't get a date for the prom win at the "INDEPENDENT SPIRIT AWARDS" (IFC), hosted by "Hamlet 2" star Steve Coogan. (Edited version at 10 p.m. on AMC). 8 p.m. Kevin Bacon is Lt. Michael R. Strobl, the Marine charged with "TAKING CHANCE" (HBO) Phelps remains back to Wyoming after his death in Iraq. It's based on a heavily fwded trip report turned article from blackfive.net. Comedian Keith Price discusses being black, fat and gay (aka 3/4 of the panel on "The View" at any given time) on "EBONY CHUNKY LOVE: BITCH CAN'T GET A DATE!" (Logo). 9 P.M. One night in Bangkok makes an apple crumble on "EXTREME CUISINE WITH JEFF CORWIN" (Food Network). 11 p.m. Soup's on with "AISHA TYLER IS LIT: LIVE AT THE FILLMORE" (Comedy). SUNDAY 5 p.m. Hugh Laurie is the grand marshal at the "NASCAR ’09: CALIFORNIA 500" (Fox) because of all the walk-and-talk laps his character makes around Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. 7 p.m. Mickey Rourke, Anne Hathaway, Hugh Jackman, and the Jonas Brothers are coaxed to cry on "THE BARBARA WALTERS SPECIAL" (ABC). 8 p.m. As if cheese rolling wasn't enough of a Three Stooges movie, "THE AMAZING RACE" (CBS) subjects its contestants to a pie fight. 8:30 p.m. Two things we know for sure about the "THE 81ST ANNUAL ACADEMY AWARDS" (ABC): Wolverine is hosting, and the microphones will be turned off during the "In Memoriam" reel. 9 p.m. "OLIVER TWIST" (PBS) aka "Slumdog Farthing-aire" concludes. "BIG LOVE" (HBO) takes a road trip to New York. Think "Little Miss Sunshine" with 300% more wives. If you are planning on watching the "100 MOST OUTRAGEOUS HOME VIDEOS OF ALL TIME" (NBC) instead of the Oscars, please stop reading this now, and kill yourself. This message brought to you by: Society. "THE L WORD" (Showtime) holds either a baby shower or a babe shower. 10 p.m. How do you catch an epileptic dog? "FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS" (HBO) has the answers you seek, Grasshopper. Breaking up should not send you into the bottle. Just take it from Belle on the "SECRET DIARY OF A CALL GIRL" (Showtime). 10:30 p.m. The bad news on "THE UNITED STATES OF TARA" (Showtime): Tara's parents want to take custody of their grandkids. The good news: she's got yet another personality. Perhaps I've got the meanings of "good" and "bad" reversed again. --- QUESTIONABLE ANSWERS Which was not true of "Rhoda" from the opening of her show season one? "I was born in the Bronx, New York in December 1941. I've always felt responsible for World War II." "The first thing that I remember liking that liked me back was a fun house mirror." "I had a bad puberty, it lasted seventeen years." "I went to art school--my entrance exam was on a book of matches." or "Eventually I ran to Minneapolis where it's cold, and I figured I'd keep better."? According to Rhoda: "The first thing that I remember liking that liked me back was food." --- But the conversation has just begun, add your own suggestions or discuss mine on the "TV or Not TV" Google list or at tvornottv.net. "The Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2008 Thomas Allen Heald and Gigantic Rear Projection, Ltd. --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ TV or Not TV .... Smart (TV) People on Ice! You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "TV or Not TV" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/tvornottv?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
