The Remote Patrol for Tuesday, April 28, 2009
by Thomas Allen Heald, Esquire
All times Eastern, for PBS programs, check local listings

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8 p.m.
Chris O'Donnell and L L Cool J guest on "NCIS: SPECIAL SPINOFF UNIT" (CBS).

Sam attempts to turn the tables on his father, the Devil, by seducing 
his Armageddon tutor on "REAPER" (CW). Pretty much the same thing Danny 
Gokey is doing at this point.

The contestants on "THE BIGGEST LOSER" (NBC) are weighed down with the 
equivalent of the pounds they've lost on the Oprah's Little Red Wagon 
Challenge.

The weekly Stevie Wonder Performed By Awfully White Kids is given a 
momentary rest as "AMERICAN IDOL HUMILIATES THE RAT PACK" (Fox). I'm 
begging for a Joey Bishop tune, guys.

9 p.m.
Spines are tapped and hairys are sheared as "FRINGE" (Fox) tracks a 
serial killer and/or bioterrorist cell. Special guest star: Peter 
Porker, the Amazing Spider-Ham on the trail of the swine flu.

Eye Lava Parade on "HOW THE EARTH WAS MADE" (History).

"ECO TRIP: THE REAL COST OF LIVING" (Sundance) makes you feel guilty for 
buying and wearing T-shirts.

10 p.m.
A strawberry bush sends an "FTD Pick Me Up" bouquet to a rice patty on 
"LIFE AFTER PEOPLE" (History).

Geneviève would rather fixate on Tommy than skip to my Lou on "RESCUE 
ME" (FX).

Hilary Duff and Gail O'Grady guest on "LAW & ORDER: SPECIAL BRITNEY 
SPEARS STORYLINE UNIT" (NBC).

TALK TALK via Interbridge.com
Daily Show: Clifford D. May
Colbert Report: Richard Engel, Daniel Gross
Tavis Smiley: Bria Valente, Prince
David Letterman: Dolly Parton, Zachary Quinto
Jay Leno: Michael Douglas, Chelsea Handler, Country Bones
Late Late Show: John McEnroe, Stana Katic
Jimmy Kimmel: Michael J. Fox, the latest castoff from "Dancing With the 
Stars", Asher Roth
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QUESTIONABLE ANSWERS
What subjects did Bea Arthur's character, Dorothy Zbornak, specialize in
as a substitute teacher on "The Golden Girls"? American History and 
English.

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   "The Remote Patrol" is copyright© 2009 Thomas Allen Heald and
Gigantic Rear Projection, Ltd., a division of Haslenald, Inc. All rights
reserved. Yeah I know.




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