Kevin M. (RPCV)

On Fri, Jul 26, 2024 at 10:42 PM Jim Ellwanger <[email protected]>
wrote:

> Oh, there's accordion music in both places. In heaven, it's the work of
> Weird Al, John Linnell, and cumbia bands composed of women who look like
> Salma Hayek and/or Sofia Vergara. In hell, it's performed by everyone else.
>

A fair point, and one I cannot criticize

>
> I probably should have turned it off at about the point that Kelly
> Clarkson just couldn't believe that they'd come up with the brilliant new
> idea of combining heavy metal and classical music.
>

It was one of many things she found “incredible”.

>
> It seemed really odd that NBC had a big "commercial-free coverage" setup,
> complete with sponsor logos, for about the first hour, and then they
> abandoned it. Guess Coca-Cola and Delta were only willing to pay so much.
>

The five minute in-ceremony advertisement for Louis Vuitton must’ve cost a
nickel or two.


> I also didn't hear them explain why the U.S. team wasn't sailing in until
> near the end of the parade (because future host countries now go at the
> end, just before the current host country) until the broadcast actually got
> to that point. I knew the U.S. was supposed to be with the E's in French,
> so I was in a state of mild confusion for quite a while.
>
>
> On Jul 26, 2024, at 10:26 PM, Kevin M. <[email protected]> wrote:
>
> The irony of Steven Spielberg’s opening narration, talking about the
> importance of good storytelling, then leading us into a cacophony of
> disjointed audio/video gibberish.
>
> The dancers were the opposite of synchronized. They were so asynchronous
> that they must’ve rehearsed to be that out of sequence with one another. I
> mean, it had to be intentional to be that bad. If you put 100 gorillas in a
> chorus line, statistically one or two of them will move in unison, but not
> so our professional dance troop.
>
> There was an angel on a bridge playing an accordion. If heaven is filled
> with accordion music, I’m ok being sent down to the bad place when I die.
>
> Several minutes devoted to celebrating threesomes. Is group sex an Olympic
> event this year?
>
> A singing, decapitated head of Marie Antoinette is odd, but she was
> smiling. Severed heads should not be smiling… that’s just creepy. Then the
> simulated blood-soaked building. Kids are going to be describing this
> moment to therapists.
>
> It’s France’s oldest marching band, but rather than hear them perform,
> they are going to awkwardly engulf a French pop singer, because nothing
> says France like a claustrophobic woman surrounded by a gang of men in
> funny hats.
>
> Kelly Clarkson used the word “incredible” to describe everything. You know
> what I find incredible? That Kelly Clarkson gets paid to speak. Somebody
> buy the woman a thesaurus.
>
> The torch … it was a giant joint. It wasn’t a torch that looked a little
> bit like a joint… it was a giant joint that was only a little bit like a
> torch.
>
> After 90 minutes, they’d only gotten to athletes from countries starting
> with the letter C. For my own sanity, I had to turn it off.
>
> I remember during the opening ceremony for the London games, watching a
> musical number featuring dying children in hospital beds, I thought that
> was the weirdest moment in Olympic history. Here we are in 2024, and I can
> only say: Where the hell are the singing dying kids?
>
> Kevin M. (RPCV)
>
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