Hi Bill,
First, "I" believe what "you" say. I just find it hard to accept that
ToastMasters, a fine and well-respected organization, would want
everyone to always say "I", and never say "you". Personally, if someone
I was dealing with constantly said "I this" and "I that", I would tune
them out very quickly. Most people would rather hear about themselves
than the speaker. Now, denigrating someone while saying "you" is
something else again. So, the context of the message is the important
thing, not being sure never to say "you". Just my 2 cents - admittedly 2
cents is not worth much these days. ;-)
All that being said, I have read your posts often over the years, and
find you to be both knowledgeable and honorable. Oops, should I not have
said "you" there? <big good old southern boy grin>
Charlie Noah
Charles W. Noah Associates
cwn...@comcast.net
The views and opinions expressed herein are my own (Charlie Noah) and do
not necessarily reflect the views, positions or policies of any of my
former, current or future employers, employees, clients, friends,
enemies or anyone else who might take exception to them.
On 03-18-2011 7:14 PM, Bill Brutzman wrote:
I learned about the "I-Beam of Interpersonal Communications" at a ToastMasters
meeting.
The idea is to stop using the word "you" altogether. Easier said than done.
The beauty of the I-Beam is that it removes blaming others.
Thus...
"I wish that Rocket would see that 123 and then did ABC along the lines of
XYZ..."
"I am in favor of..."
"I am not in favor of..." are decent I-Beam constructs.
On the other hand...
"YOU are a dirty rotten bungling oaf and it is all YOUR fault." This
of course not I-Beam. It uses the inflamatory blame word (YOU). The word YOU is toxic.
--Bill
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