By Sarah Namatovu
March 12 - 18, 2004
|
A few weeks back, I was desperately searching for a man. Not anymore, thanks to two people; my best friend and cousin. Don�t get me wrong.
My best friend Stella met her boyfriend Simon in 1999 shortly before completing University and moved in with him despite my warning against it. This guy was jobless and had just broken up with a woman he had spent close to six years with. Apparently, his ex had packed every thing in the house and run off to her ancestral home in Mbale. With her big heart, Stella tried to replace all that was missing including bed sheets, saucepans, cutlery, a television, radio and furniture among others. Soon, they were blessed with a cute baby boy and Stella was so Even when Simon got a job, he wasn�t buying anything at home or paying any of the bills. It perturbed Stella. She was right because I began to suspect that Simon was seeing another woman and spending his money on her. I didn�t say anything to Stella because that would only open up old wounds. Whenever Simon went on trips, Stella would come to stay with me. Two days before Christmas, Stella received a note from Simon�s ex wife asking her to come and pick her stuff and vacate his place. Stella couldn�t believe it. When she went to Simon�s house, his ex and two children had come. The ex had packed some of Stella�s personal belongings (underwear, clothes, makeup, shoes etc) minus the big assets like the television and furniture. She coldly told Stella that she had come back to her home and to her man. All efforts to eject the ex failed because apparently Simon, who was monitoring the situation from some hiding, was supporting the ex. As a friend, I called Simon for his side of the story. He said that he was powerless to stop the ex�s outrageous behaviour and that Stella should be patient, the crisis would pass. �It is Stella I love and after this mess, I will officially marry her.� I thought that if Stella believed him, she was out of her mind. Men with crooked pasts are difficult to deal with since you cannot know when he will be hit by the rebound syndrome. Simon must have been seeing his �ex� all the time and probably lured her into coming back. The annoying thing is that Stella still loves him. My cousin Megan is facing a similar problem. She works with one of the prestigious insurance companies in Kampala and, like most women, she figured her job might not always be around. That is why she convinced James, her fianc�, to build their own house when money was still available. They settled down and had two beautiful children. Meg�s happiness was rudely interrupted by bad news. James had become a Ssalongo. His illicit affair had resulted into twins and culture demanded that a Ssalongo had to marry his Nnalongo. At least that was the stupid reason he was giving Meg. How could any reasonable man leave a beautiful hardworking woman who adored and loved him and had mothered his two lovely children? No one knows. James ended up with the Nnalongo and they are now staying in that gorgeous house that he and Megan built together. So, where is Megan? Renting somewhere else with her two children but still seeing James. Now that is crazy. A guy cheats on you, marries another woman and forces you out of the home you built together and you still go to him? I wouldn�t let an intruding sneak enjoy the fruits of my sweat and take what was rightfully mine for anything. Simon is lucky Megan is not me. I think all women should let men carry on with their traditional role of bread winning in all its forms. They should pay all the bills, buy the basics and make the major investments as well. For all you know, that guy might just be using you. Before you know it, he will be clamouring to evict you especially when your bank accounts thin out. As you spend, he could be saving his and taking it to other women. And it seems men forget easily. You pick him from dirt with nothing to his name, you decide to clothe, feed and maybe set up a business for him and how does he say thank you? By sleeping with some bimbo. If it happens, don�t say I didn�t warn you. Women who walk into what their counterparts have already cleaned up should also stand warned. You have no idea what some women go through to get their relationships where they are, so back off.
|
� 2004 The Monitor Publications
Yahoo! Messenger - Communicate instantly..."Ping" your friends today! Download Messenger Now
