Ocen Nekyon
Are we still going after men? No I am just wondering why we only get those pieces that trample on all men and all men are thus Pigs. Here is a study you missed, yes you did not read it as you were protecting the very poor but righteous angle women sir. EM On the 49th Parallel Nearly half of women in relationships have 'Plan B' man they can run away with * Sep 25, 2014 17:13 <http://www.mirror.co.uk/by-date/25-09-2014> * By Agency staff A study found many keep another man waiting patiently in the wings should they end up single - and married women are even more likely to Getty Thinking of Plan B? Lady with two men in her life Half of all women have a ‘Plan B’ - in the shape of a man whose arms they can run into if their current relationship turns sour. A study carried out among 1,000 women found a substantial percentage have managed to keep another man waiting patiently in the wings <http://www.mirror.co.uk/all-about/cheating> should they end up single. And, worryingly, married women are more likely have a Plan B in the background than those who are merely in a relationship. <http://www.mirror.co.uk/all-about/dating> It also emerged the Plan B is likely to be an ‘old friend’ who has always had feelings for the woman in question. But other candidates are an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband, a colleague or someone who they have met at the gym. A spokesman for online market research company OnePoll.com said: “For our research to establish that almost 50 per cent of women in relationships have a ‘Plan B’ is a worrying sign. “This news may cause a few men in relationships to think twice about not taking the rubbish out or choosing a night down the pub in favour of a cosy night in with his partner. “This could spark fear in men across the UK and be great news for women looking for that extra bit of love and care <http://www.mirror.co.uk/all-about/love> so that their attentions aren’t swayed.” The research also found Plan B is also likely to be someone whom she has known for around seven years. One of the most worrying elements of the study was the revelation that he will be ‘ready and waiting’ because of ‘unfinished business’. Furthermore around one in ten women said their Plan B had already confessed his undying love, while one in five said they were confident he would ‘drop everything’ for her, if she asked him to. Slightly more than four in ten said they had got to know the man whilst they were with their partner, while a similar percentage said he was ‘on the scene’ long before. Another alarming statistic was the fact around one in four women who have a back-up plan have feelings as strong for him as they do for their other half. Incredibly 12 per cent went as far as to admit their feelings were ‘stronger’ for Plan B, and close to seven in ten admitted they are currently in contact with him. But despite the secrecy involved in having a close friend or ex to turn to, around half of the women who took part in the poll said their other half was aware of the ‘third party’. Of those one in five said they were able to joke about it, but one in three said their man was ‘uncomfortable’ discussing him. One in four admitted their current partner had met their Plan B, while one in five admitted he was a friend of the man in her life. The good news for the nation’s men is that one in three women said they ‘doubted’ anything would ever happen with the man in the background. Around half had a ‘never say never’ approach, while trouble may lie ahead for one in six who said they were ‘seriously considering’ rekindling their romance with the man in the shadows. A OnePoll spokesman added: “The saying ‘the grass isn’t always greener’, clearly isn’t deterring women of today. “They understand that anything can happen and are ensuring they have a solid back up plan should things go sour with their current man” “With sites such as Facebook and Twitter, its easier than ever to stay in touch with an old flame. Men need to be aware of any ‘old friends’ that turn up out of the blue that’s for sure. “One thing is for certain, men across the UK today will be giving their partners that extra kiss goodnight this evening.” Plus, get one week FREE when you purchase your first month's subscription. Just type MATCHWEEK at the checkout to read, reply and send messages, see who's viewed your profile and more. Getty Thé Mulindwas Communication Group "With Yoweri Museveni, Ssabassajja and Dr. Kiiza Besigye, Uganda is in anarchy" Kuungana Mulindwa Mawasiliano Kikundi "Pamoja na Yoweri Museveni, Ssabassajja na Dk. Kiiza Besigye, Uganda ni katika machafuko" From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of [email protected] Sent: Friday, October 03, 2014 4:13 PM To: Ugandans Heart Subject: {UAH} Most men tend to lie about multiple partners: survey - National - thecitizen.co.tz http://www.thecitizen.co.tz/News/Most-men-tend-to-lie-about--multiple-partners--survey/-/1840392/2473470/-/t6mppwz/-/index.html Most men tend to lie about multiple partners: survey - National A new survey has exposed men as cheats, who hide the fact that they have more than one partner. PHOTO | FILE Dar es Salaam. Mariam Mwalimu, 30 and a mother of two, is always jittery when it comes to her husband. She checks his Facebook and goes through his emails. Then she checks his phone inbox and sent box before they go to bed. She confides: “I have fought with several women over the phone concerning my husband. When I suspect a woman has a thing with him, I never spare her a piece of my mind. I call her and tell her to stay away from my man. No one messes around with my man.” But her husband is smart these days. “He deletes any suspicious messages before I go through his phone,” Mwalimu explains. Although she has never caught him with another woman in four years of marriage, she still suspects he might be cheating on her. If her suspicion is ever confirmed, she will divorce him. “Even the Bible doesn’t accept adultery,” she adds. A new survey in 30 African countries, Tanzania included, offers an explanation as to why Mwalimu is so suspicious. In all the countries surveyed, more men said they had one wife than women who said they had no co-wives—suggesting that women suspect, or know, that the men have other wives but the men will not own up to it. According to the survey, which was first published by South Africa’s Mail & Guardian newspaper, Demographic Health Surveys compiled from 30 African countries by USAID reveals that men in Tanzania hide their marital status where polygamy is concerned. The data showed that men were not telling the truth on whether they had a second wife, while women seemed to believe the opposite. According to the survey, there is a disparity between men’s claims that they are monogamous and women’s suspicion of their husbands. More men claim to have one wife while only a few women believe them. In other words, most women suspect or know their husbands have other wives but the men will not acknowledge it. They named it the “polygamy hypocrisy gap”. The biggest gap among the countries surveyed is Swaziland, where the divergence was nearly 30 per cent point. While 94.1 per cent of married Swazi men say they are monogamous, just 66 per cent of married women say they are not sharing their husbands, suggesting that nearly three in 10 married Swazi men are secretly polygamous. Tanzania ranked seventh in position from top of the list Swaziland, with a 13 per cent divergence. It is the only country in East Africa to hold this high gap degree. West African countries revealed high divergence as well. Following Swaziland are Sao Time and Principe, Sierra Leone, Senegal, Burkina Faso, Guinea, Nigeria, Cameroon, Benin and Liberia. The narrowest gap is found in the Great Lakes region: The Democratic Republic of Congo, Rwanda and Burundi, Ethiopia, Madagascar and Malawi. In these countries, men tend to be honestly monogamous, with an almost equal number of men saying they have one wife and women agreeing that they are not sharing their husbands. With the recent popular media campaign ‘Mchepuko Noma’, (divergence is bad) it appears there is more freedom to condemn polygamy in public. But a survey by The Citizenrevealed the polygamy hypocrisy gap. While married women admit they suspect their husbands of having other wives, married men deny having affairs out of wedlock. At the same time, they were not shocked that this was the case in Tanzania. “I see it happening,” said one of the men interviewed. “But I don’t accept it. Please don’t mention my name.” It was a common response from most of those questioned. There are many theories why this could be so, says Chris Mauki, a University of Dar es Salaam lecturer and social psychologist. The first is that man is nomadic. He adds: “You cannot expect him to stop at one woman. Even if you try to stop him, he will still want to venture out. That is the nature of a man.” Most men are reportedly disappointed with their sex lives. They want more adventure than their wives are willing to give them. The alternative is to look for another woman to satisfy them. In line with this argument, Modesta Kimonga of the University of Dodoma says: “The modern educated woman is too busy for her man. She comes home late and isn’t willing to satisfy her husband when he needs her. Men aren’t the only one to blame for this.” But this is just a lame excuse, says Mwalimu. She adds: “Men are as busy as we are. It shouldn’t be my fault that he cheats. If he cheats on account that I am busy, then maybe I should cheat too because he is busy.” But relations between men and women are not that simple, according to Kimonga. By nature, men want respect from their wives, and they are not humble enough, men seek something extra that will soothe them, even if it is just temporary. She adds: “I am not saying this to justify their actions. I actually think that when a man seeks another wife, it is a sign of immaturity. And now that there are sexually transmitted diseases such as HIV/Aids, more wives just increase the risk of transmission.” Man’s immaturity is in thinking that he can get lasting satisfaction from having many wives, says Mauki: “When a man has another wife other in secret, it isn’t a fulfilling relationship. Since they are not fully committed to each other, the relationship doesn’t face equal challenges as those faced in a relationship where the man and woman live together at all times. Hence, it isn’t fulfilling.” When Ghati Mwita’s mother was married at the commissioner’s office over 30 years ago as wife number two, it was no secret. Growing up, her father spent more time in her mother’s home in Musoma. And when school closed, she and her four sisters went to their other mother’s home. She had six children. Ghati is now 31 and does not remember a time when her “mothers” fought. They are actually best friends, she says. And all Mzee Mwita’s children are close. She says, laughing: “My mother told me that, in a way, my father lied to her. She didn’t know he was married when they hooked up. The only reason she agreed to marry him was because she had his child. He wouldn’t let her leave with the child.” Her mother tells her the two women were not on good terms in the beginning. The first wife came around and accepted the situation later. Back in Musoma, polygamy is still a normal thing. Her grandfather had four wives and her father two. “He halved the number, at least,” she says, laughing. But Ghati does not like polygamy and would not want her husband marrying another woman. They have been married three years and have not had a baby yet. Her husband travels a lot for work these days. At times she is terrified that he might be having an affair. “But I trust him,” she adds. “I try not to think that way.” Although she did not suffer much as a child in a polygamous family, she saw her mother struggle to earn a living. “She couldn’t solely depend on her husband, so she had to work harder to take care of us,” she recalls. “It is the woman who always suffers, whether or not she was married first.” It is a completely different ball game, Mauki says, when the second “marriage” is secret--which is the most common case. He adds: “I don’t think the other woman is even worth being called a wife. She is just a concubine, hawara. And it is sad that the other woman would think that she is the only one. Once a man has a woman other than his wife, she should know that he has others elsewhere. It is just that he is clever enough to make sure they never meet.” Gaudence Mushi of The Holy Ghost Fathers says polygamy is not a crime. “It could be considered immoral, but it isn’t a crime,” he adds. But those who justify polygamy through the Bible are wrong. That was the Old Testament, he says. In the New Testament, Jesus Christ came to restore the original plan of how man and woman should live. “One man and one woman,” he adds. “This is the will of God.” Is it then that men face a struggle between their Christian values and their inner desires? Would it help to legalise polygamy? Says Mauki: “We could toy with that idea for a minute. But even if we did, legalising polygamy wouldn’t help. It wouldn’t solve a man’s lustful nature or give him the satisfaction of heart that he is looking for.” Most men tend to lie about multiple partners: survey - National - thecitizen.co.tz http://www.thecitizen.co.tz/News/Most-men-tend-to-lie-about--multiple-partners--survey/-/1840392/2473470/-/t6mppwz/-/index.html Sent from my BlackBerry 10 smartphone. -- UAH forum is devoted to matters of interest to Ugandans. Individuals are responsible for whatever they post on this forum.To unsubscribe from this group, send email to: [email protected] <mailto:[email protected]> or Abbey Semuwemba at: [email protected] <mailto:[email protected]> .
_______________________________________________ Ugandanet mailing list [email protected] http://kym.net/mailman/listinfo/ugandanet UGANDANET is generously hosted by INFOCOM http://www.infocom.co.ug/ All Archives can be found at http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ The above comments and data are owned by whoever posted them (including attachments if any). The List's Host is not responsible for them in any way. ---------------------------------------
