Mmm that's a tough one. Start a vigil sitting on your porch/stoop with a
shotgun that you frequently and visibly clean? Attempt random acts of
violence against smokers to send "a message" to create media attention and
publicize your message? Clean them up, perhaps?
A tough one? I think not. Read my lips and make my day. I take my iguanas Val and Herman out for an afternoon stroll with my Uzi in one hand and my Jacuzzi in the other, my trusty Walther-Reuther 48 stuck in my belt and my trusty cutlass between my teeth and hey presto no butts on my lawn daddy. This is the "broken window" theory of crime prevention. I see someone toss a butt on my pristinely manicured lawn, I follow them home and I break their windows. No problem? No problem.
But I notice in the summer there's a seasonal Eurotrash problem. They come sauntering in in their black gabardine suits and their nine-inch heels puffing on them Gitanes and Gauloises and Beauvaises and Jobs and whatnot, sometimes in long black cigarette holders, smoking like there's no tomorrow and flinging their butts here and there including *my* elegantly manicured lawn. What what? You think I'm going to sit there on my proch/stoop trying to send them a "passive-aggressive message" with my "body language"? Hell no. Some French dame sashays up and inquires "Avez vous une cigarette pour moi beeg boy?" you think I'm going to roll over and take it like a man? Next thing you know the Ivorienne on the corner is gonna be asking me "Voulez-vouz couchez avec moi, au revoir mon enfant?" and we all know there's only one answer where that came from. I say pack up zee Fronch and send them back to Beaujolais and they can take their wicked cheese fries wees zem. Alors! Nom d'un nom d'un nom d'un nom already!!
Like the song goes:
"Many strangers have arrived
Wearing immense black capes
Selling buttons at my door
I don't feel well"
Ross Bender
http://rossbender.org
