How wonderful. I couldn't have said it better myself. Come to think of it, I did!
Sande Knight Deloitte & Touche Assurance and Advisory Services tel 215-246-2424 fax 215-405-3178 [EMAIL PROTECTED] -----Original Message----- From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Sent: Saturday, August 09, 2003 11:57 AM To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Subject: [UC] Grass and Trees Grass and trees > > >GOD: St. Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the >world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, > > >violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, > > >no-maintenance garden plan. those plants grow in any type of soil, > > >withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long > > >lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of >songbirds. > > >I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these > > >green rectangles. > > > > > >ST. FRANCIS: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. > > >They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to >kill them and replace them with grass. > > > > > >GOD: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract > > >butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's sensitive to > > >temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing > > >there? > > > > > >ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and > > >keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning > > >any other plant that crops up in the lawn. > > > > > >GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really > > >fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy. > > > > > >ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut > > >it -- sometimes twice a week. > > > > > >GOD: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay? > > > > > >ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in >bags. > > >GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it? > > > > > >ST. FRANCIS: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away. > > > > > >GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. > > >And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away? > > > > > >ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir. > > > > > >GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back >on > > >the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves >them > > >a lot of work. > > > > > >ST. FRANCIS: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass >stops > > >growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so >they > > >can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it. > > > > > >GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a >sheer > > >stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the > > >spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall > > >to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and > > >protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost >to > > >enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life. > > > > > >ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new > > >circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and >pay > > >to have them hauled away. > > > > > >GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the >winter > > >and to keep the soil moist and loose? > > > > > >ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy >something > > >which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of > > >the leaves. > > > > > >GOD: And where do they get this mulch? > > > > > >ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch. > > > > > >GOD: Enough. I don't want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, > > >you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us >tonight? > > > > > >ST.CATHERINE: Dumb and Dumber, Lord. It's a real stupid movie about ..... > > > > > >GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis. ---- You are receiving this because you are subscribed to the list named "UnivCity." To unsubscribe or for archive information, see <http://www.purple.com/list.html>. This message (including any attachments) contains confidential information intended for a specific individual and purpose, and is protected by law. If you are not the intended recipient, you should delete this message. Any disclosure, copying, or distribution of this message, or the taking of any action based on it, is strictly prohibited. ---- You are receiving this because you are subscribed to the list named "UnivCity." To unsubscribe or for archive information, see <http://www.purple.com/list.html>.
