In a message dated 6/6/2004 1:24:09 PM Eastern Standard Time,
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:
I've
seen this on other sites, and frankly, I think it's bullshit. There
are no
sources quoted by name, so it's entirely unverifiable. And it's
got two
big problems. The first is that it's "too good to be true,"
i.e., watching
Bush get all Nixonian. The second is that it seems
entirely out of
character for the Bush administration. Bush ain't a
foamer, and I can't
see him getting as twisted as Nixon did; I can see
him
bashing-on-regardless, and never comprehending how much harm he's
done to
the country.
Sorry, gang, but I peg this article as a complete
hoax.
Actually, it sounds rather reasonable and quite realistic to me. I mean,
compare it to some of the other scurrilous bullshit that's out there,
like these pieces of crap from www.deadbrain.com:
Bush Terrifies Aussie Opposition
In a press conference with
Australian Prime Minister John Howard at the White House, President
Bush soundly tongue-lashed Australian opposition leader
Mark Latham.
"Y'all billabongs got no gonads. Ah hear Mistah Latham is
considering 'pullin' out' of Ay-raq if'n he gits elected. Now 'pullin' out' is
not sumthin us Leaders of the Free World does, ah kin tell y'all that for free.
Like the Scripture says, Onan 'pulled out,' din he? He spilled his seed upon the
ground and the Lord done smacked him up against the head right proper. Heh. So
you kin jist remind your Mr. Labor Leader Latham that we gots two nucular
aircraft carriers cruisin' fer a bruisin' out there in the Pacific of Ocean, an'
ah kin ride my personal jet-fighter over there quicker'n you kin say 'Waltzin'
Matookie.' Case closed, pardner."
The President then demonstrated several
kangaroo-style kick-boxing moves to the astonished White House press corps,
before aides removed him to the black helicopter waiting to take him to Italy to
visit the Pope.
Prime Minister John Howard of Australia is no immediate
relation to Michael Howard, leader of Great Britain's Conservative Party,
although the Prime Minister is allegedly descended from an Arthur Fotheringay
Huxtable Howard, who was transported to Botany Bay in the 18th century after
being convicted of public lewdness in the Covent Garden.
A spokesman for
the Conservative Party stated that Michael Howard is "most assuredly not related
to his Australian, erm, counterpart. Michael comes from a long line of the
Shropshire Howards, don't you know."
Bush's terrifying words followed a
mutual suckholing with the Australian Prime Minister during the Rose Garden
ceremony, during which the President assured him that two Australian prisoners
at Guantanamo Bay, David Hicks and Mamdouh Habib, were being treated "jis
hunky-dory." They have been suspended by their heels at Camp X-Ray for
approximately two years.
Bush again demonstrated his remarkable knowledge
of the Hebrew Scriptures in his quotation from Genesis 38. The spiritual leader
Onan, who incurred God's wrath, has given his name to the modern practice of
coitus interruptus, or onanism, sometimes confused with masturbation.
Bush Genuflects, Becomes Catholic
A chastened George W. Bush knelt
before the Pope in Rome this weekend, saying "Father, shrive me, for I have
sinned," begging forgiveness and asking to become Catholic.
The aging
Pontiff read a statement in Latin, Polish, English and Texan, chiding Bush for
his unilateral aggression in Iraq and war crimes at Abu Ghraib, and admonishing
him to say one hundred Hail Mary's, plus a novena and a duenna for good measure.
The Holy Father also commanded the President to flagellate himself on Thursday
nights.
Bush in return presented Pope John Paul II with the Boy Scout
Medal of Honor, the nation's highest award. With his trademark smirk, Bush
grasped the Pope's trembling hands and stated, "I want all the good Catholics
back home in the US of A to be sure to remem'er this come November."
Bush
suggested that the Pope immediately serve him Holy Communion, saying "Whar's
that bread and grape juice, Padre?" The Pontiff demurred, saying "Non
accelerando, adulescentula mea" ("Not so fast, buddy"). The question of whether
war criminals can be offered communion is a question in hot contention among
American bishops, and the Holy See deferred a pronunciamento until the matter
can be taken up by the College of Cardinals.
Thereupon Bush suddenly
lurched forward and vomited into the Holy Father's lap. Aides cleaned up and
rushed the President to a waiting black helicopter, apologizing for the gaffe by
saying Bush was overcome by jet-lag and "medications." The President was on his
feet again within an hour to wave to thousands of Italian fans who had gathered
in the streets of Rome to welcome him.
Commentators were divided on the
significance of the President's tossing his cookies all over the Pope, with some
saying that he was merely imitating protocol in the Presidency of the first
President Bush, who vomited all over the Prime Minister on a state visit to
Japan.
Ross
Bender
http://rossbender.org
|
