Re: [UC] Fw: [DFA-NorCal] Bush's Erratic Behavior Worries White House Aides

[Benseraglio2]

In a message dated 6/6/2004 1:24:09 PM Eastern Standard Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: I've seen this on other sites, and frankly, I think it's bullshit. There are no sources quoted by name, so it's entirely unverifiable. And it's got two big problems. The first is that it's "too good to be true," i.e., watching Bush get all Nixonian. The second is that it seems entirely out of character for the Bush administration. Bush ain't a foamer, and I can't see him getting as twisted as Nixon did; I can see him bashing-on-regardless, and never comprehending how much harm he's done to the country. Sorry, gang, but I peg this article as a complete hoax. Actually, it sounds rather reasonable and quite realistic to me. I mean, compare it to some of the other scurrilous bullshit that's out there, like these pieces of crap from www.deadbrain.com:   Bush Terrifies Aussie Opposition Jun 5 2004 by Ross Bender In a press conference with Australian Prime Minister John Howard at the White House, President Bush soundly tongue-lashed Australian opposition leader Mark Latham.   "Y'all billabongs got no gonads. Ah hear Mistah Latham is considering 'pullin' out' of Ay-raq if'n he gits elected. Now 'pullin' out' is not sumthin us Leaders of the Free World does, ah kin tell y'all that for free. Like the Scripture says, Onan 'pulled out,' din he? He spilled his seed upon the ground and the Lord done smacked him up against the head right proper. Heh. So you kin jist remind your Mr. Labor Leader Latham that we gots two nucular aircraft carriers cruisin' fer a bruisin' out there in the Pacific of Ocean, an' ah kin ride my personal jet-fighter over there quicker'n you kin say 'Waltzin' Matookie.' Case closed, pardner."   The President then demonstrated several kangaroo-style kick-boxing moves to the astonished White House press corps, before aides removed him to the black helicopter waiting to take him to Italy to visit the Pope.   Prime Minister John Howard of Australia is no immediate relation to Michael Howard, leader of Great Britain's Conservative Party, although the Prime Minister is allegedly descended from an Arthur Fotheringay Huxtable Howard, who was transported to Botany Bay in the 18th century after being convicted of public lewdness in the Covent Garden.   A spokesman for the Conservative Party stated that Michael Howard is "most assuredly not related to his Australian, erm, counterpart. Michael comes from a long line of the Shropshire Howards, don't you know."   Bush's terrifying words followed a mutual suckholing with the Australian Prime Minister during the Rose Garden ceremony, during which the President assured him that two Australian prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, David Hicks and Mamdouh Habib, were being treated "jis hunky-dory." They have been suspended by their heels at Camp X-Ray for approximately two years.   Bush again demonstrated his remarkable knowledge of the Hebrew Scriptures in his quotation from Genesis 38. The spiritual leader Onan, who incurred God's wrath, has given his name to the modern practice of coitus interruptus, or onanism, sometimes confused with masturbation.   Bush Genuflects, Becomes Catholic Jun 5 2004 by Ross Bender   A chastened George W. Bush knelt before the Pope in Rome this weekend, saying "Father, shrive me, for I have sinned," begging forgiveness and asking to become Catholic.   The aging Pontiff read a statement in Latin, Polish, English and Texan, chiding Bush for his unilateral aggression in Iraq and war crimes at Abu Ghraib, and admonishing him to say one hundred Hail Mary's, plus a novena and a duenna for good measure. The Holy Father also commanded the President to flagellate himself on Thursday nights.   Bush in return presented Pope John Paul II with the Boy Scout Medal of Honor, the nation's highest award. With his trademark smirk, Bush grasped the Pope's trembling hands and stated, "I want all the good Catholics back home in the US of A to be sure to remem'er this come November."   Bush suggested that the Pope immediately serve him Holy Communion, saying "Whar's that bread and grape juice, Padre?" The Pontiff demurred, saying "Non accelerando, adulescentula mea" ("Not so fast, buddy"). The question of whether war criminals can be offered communion is a question in hot contention among American bishops, and the Holy See deferred a pronunciamento until the matter can be taken up by the College of Cardinals.   Thereupon Bush suddenly lurched forward and vomited into the Holy Father's lap. Aides cleaned up and rushed the President to a waiting black helicopter, apologizing for the gaffe by saying Bush was overcome by jet-lag and "medications." The President was on his feet again within an hour to wave to thousands of Italian fans who had gathered in the streets of Rome to welcome him.   Commentators were divided on the significance of the President's tossing his cookies all over the Pope, with some saying that he was merely imitating protocol in the Presidency of the first President Bush, who vomited all over the Prime Minister on a state visit to Japan.   Ross Bender http://rossbender.org