On 3/7/07, Lewis Mellman <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
On Wed, 7 Mar 2007 15:21:34 -0500, Ross Bender declares, "I am of course running for President" President of Cartoon-ville? Will the candidate go on the record with the standard, empty campaign pledge to implement simple-stream, invective-based recycling immediately upon seizing office? -Lew
Ummm. I regret to inform my public that my advisors have found a defect in the American Constitution which, unless amended by a grateful Congress, will make it impossible for me to run for the Presidency of the dear old USA. The hitch is that, like Arnold Schwarzenegger, I was not actually *born* in this country. The Founders, in their rather narrow view, stated in article II, section 1, clause 5 of the United States Constitution that eligibility for the Presidency of the United States is limited to "natural-born citizens." Now while I, unlike Arnie who I gather was hatched in some sort of bionic test-tube was in fact "natural born", it was in the territory of our good and civilized neighbors to the North. I did in fact through my congressperson initiate an initiative to amend the Constitution back in the year 2000 (see below), but I regret to inform all my fans that it failed to make it out of committee. Although an enthusiastic neighborhood petition drive collected 546 signatures in Cedar Park alone, the Congress refused to do the right thing. While we're still working on this Amendment, it looks as though a run in 2008 is not in the cards. My advisors are considering my options, including a "Dump Amy" campaign in a run for the Presidency of Penn, a "Loose Dog" campaign for the Presidency of Friends of Clark Park, and a few other ideas too ultra-top-secret to mention at the moment in this very public forum. However, whatever it is that I run for, I vow not only to support invective-based recycling to the hilt, but I pledge to eliminate the awful curse of booze from our beloved hood. Read my lips. Lips that touch wine shall never touch mine. Ahem. I has spoken. 2000 *CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT TO ALLOW FOREIGN-BORN CITIZENS TO BE PRESIDENT* H.J.Res. 88 JULY 24, 2000 Serial No. 108
From: "Ross Bender" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> >Reply-To: "Ross Bender" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> >To: "Vincent/Roger" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> >CC: [EMAIL PROTECTED], [email protected] >Subject: Re: [UC] RECYCLING BI-WEEKLY IS WEAK >Date: > >On 3/7/07, Vincent/Roger <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: >> >> Milton Street, Ross Bender and Daffy Duck. >>Roger >> > >Thanks a lot, Rogerio. I had planned to announce my candidacy at my next >Abbraccio reading, "An Introduction to Mennonite History, Doctrine, and >Sexual Practices", but I see that I've been pre-empted. One detail -- I am >of course running for President, not Mayor. Ahem. BTW remember to clean >your >clocks THIS SUNDAY, which, contrary to Abbraccio flimflam is of course >MARCH >11, not 13. > >A number of candidates responded to the annoyng recycling guy's question by >>committed to implementing WIBSSCR when elected and directing the savings >>towards parks nd education. >> >> Which ones? >> >>Bruce McCullough >> >> > > >-- >Ross Bender >http://rossbender.org ---- You are receiving this because you are subscribed to the list named "UnivCity." To unsubscribe or for archive information, see <http://www.purple.com/list.html>.
-- Ross Bender http://rossbender.org
