On 5/14/07, Ross Bender <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
On 5/14/07, Doc Baldy <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > > > Any neighbor interested in a claw-foot tub in reasonably good > condition, > > For those thinking "what ever would I do with another claw-foot tub".... > > Why not turn it into a pond: > http://kim.bio.upenn.edu/~fisher/pond1.jpg<http://kim.bio.upenn.edu/%7Efisher/pond1.jpg> > http://kim.bio.upenn.edu/~fisher/pond2.jpg > <http://kim.bio.upenn.edu/%7Efisher/pond2.jpg> > > Or perhaps a very large water bowl for a dog: > http://kim.bio.upenn.edu/~fisher/pond3.JPG<http://kim.bio.upenn.edu/%7Efisher/pond3.JPG> > > Now that Doc Baldy has posted pictures of the tub, I've got clawfoot tubs on the brain again:
Funny you should mention, even hypothetically, the problem of someone leaving a bathtub on your porch. Some years ago I was plagued with this very problem -- seemed like every other day somebody would leave a baby clawfoot in a basket on my porch, ring the bell and run. Apparently word had gotten around that I had a pair of mature clawfoot bathtubs in my household, of the mating age, and in rut, and the University City list population, being too fastidious to just dump their own junk in the Bowl and thereby hamper the off-leash dog races and midnight rooster fights, supposed that I and my parentally disposed clawfoots would deal lovingly with their illicit bathtub offspring. I mean, at the time, this was back before legal bathtub abortion had been approved by the Supreme Court, there was somewhat of a glut of unwanted clawfoot babies in the hood; nobody in particular was interested in adopting them, and tubicide being not considered an option by the genteel neighbors, what to do? Well after I had accumulated a houseful of these darling baby clawfoots, being knee deep in them, and them clamoring constantly to feed them or change their nappies, I got fed up. So first I called up the local Libertarian Society Disposal Service, axed them could they come around and take some o these bathtubs off my hands? The guy who answered the phone was apparently blitzed on poppers, he just kept laughing hysterically and asking me "How many Libertarians does it take to change a lightbulb?" No help, really, but I was intrigued and finally asked "OK, how many?" to which he replied "You know how to change a lightbulb, don't you? You just put your lips together and blow." Which made no sense whatsoever. So I called UCD, they said they couldn't help, John Fenton was on extended leave in the Bahamas, called DHS Foster Care, no help, yadda yadda yadda. Finally I just loaded up all them clawfoot babies in my woodie and took em down to the Schuylkill and pushed them overboard. Once they were in the water they swam surprisingly well, and, chortling with delight pushed on upstream, capsizing several Penn rowing crews as they went. Back home, I put a big sign on my porch reading "Beware of Rottweiler: This Means You!!" Should of done it long before, because from that point to this day I have no longer been troubled with unsolicited bathtubs on my veranda. -- Ross Bender http://rossbender.org
