I know it's The Onion, but the mock article is rather close to reality nowadays. It seems satire has a place in UC.
On Mon, Feb 11, 2008 at 9:17 AM, Brian Siano <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > http://www.theonion.com/content/news/3_by_4_plot_of_green_space > > DETROIT—Notorious for its abandoned buildings, industrial warehouses, > and gray, dilapidated roads, Detroit's Warrendale neighborhood was > miraculously revitalized this week by the installation of a single, > three-by-four-foot plot of green space. > > The green space, a rectangular patch of crabgrass located on a busy > median divider, has by all accounts turned what was once a rundown > community into a thriving, picturesque oasis, filled with charming > shops, luxury condominiums, and, for the first time ever, hope. > Enlarge Image > > The Johansens, who just moved to Warrendale, enjoy some outdoor time. > > "What we've seen here is amazing," Warrendale Beautification Committee > chairman Michael Pulowski said of the $150 city-funded initiative. "Not > only do residents feel better about themselves, but our streets are now > totally safe, employment is up, and our children's test scores are > through the roof. It's hard to believe this is even the same." > > Warrendale's incredible transformation began early Monday morning when > city officials laid down the yard-wide strip of sod. Two days later > dozens of boarded-up businesses were suddenly bustling with customers, > and streets once littered with hypodermic needles were instead plastered > with colorful murals. > > "It all happened so quickly," said resident Jeffrey Huza, who watched > the sliver of lawn single-handedly attract tourism, reduce air > pollution, and bring a sense of peace and tranquility to the area. "I > always knew a little green would do our neighborhood good, but I never > thought we'd benefit this much." > > "I used to sit all day in the old tire yard getting high with no > prospects for any kind of future," Huza continued. "But now that tire > yard is a library." > > Besides giving children a safe place to play—provided they do so one at > a time—the revitalizing green space has also transformed the lives of > numerous Warrendale adults. > > The ideal spot for short evening strolls, relaxing upright reading, and > weekend picnics that don't exceed 12 square feet in total area, the new > park has completely changed how many feel about their neighborhood. > > In fact, dozens of residents who had given up on this once violent and > moribund urban wasteland almost as completely as they'd given up on life > itself, have recently chosen to put down roots and start families. > > "Sitting in the middle of the park, it's like all of the troubles of > city life just melt away," said homeowner Samantha Hodge, who every day > gazes at the narrow green space between two lanes of traffic and is > filled instantly with calm. > > "A week ago, I was ready to call it quits and never come back. Nowadays, > I couldn't imagine living anywhere else." > Enlarge Image > > The green space's impact is evident in Warrendale's sudden, overnight > transformation from complete shithole (above) to a charming and > desirable place to live (below). > > Local events, including a Shakespeare in the Park production of Romeo > And Juliet, a breast cancer–awareness march, an outdoor concert by the > London Symphony Orchestra, and a Fourth of July fireworks display are > reportedly also scheduled to take place in the new green space. > > The towel-sized band of topsoil—to be dedicated as "Warrendale Park" as > soon as enough room is found on its grounds to erect a sign—has brought > back more than a sense of community. It has also brought back the sound > of laughter. > > "I didn't recognize it at first, it had been so long since I'd heard > it," said Howard Cochrane, a lifelong resident. "But there it was, > ringing out like sunshine from that Heller boy who lives down the way. > To see him roll his ball back and forth over the same five inches of > grass—it filled my tired heart with joy." > > Despite the overwhelmingly positive influence of this simple patch of > lawn, a number of Warrendale residents have come to regard its > popularity as a double-edged sword. > > "Everywhere I look now, well-dressed moms are pushing babies in designer > strollers, high-end coffee shops are opening their doors, and fancy > galleries are replacing old neighborhood bars," said mechanic Kevin > Miles, who was evicted from his tenement apartment after his rent > tripled almost overnight. "I used to know everyone who lived here, but > now it seems like half the people are college kids or vacationing > Europeans." > > Added Miles, "I never thought I'd say this, but I miss the old decrepit > Warrendale." > ---- > You are receiving this because you are subscribed to the > list named "UnivCity." To unsubscribe or for archive information, see > <http://www.purple.com/list.html>. >
